hush and listen

Poison

2011-04-02T15:03:00.003+08:00

Traces of poison
linger in my heart,
deathly near,
forcibly kept at bay.

I can still taste that bitter taste
of hope from being around you
and the painful, disgusting aftertaste of jealousy.

Your scent still lingers in my mind,
I smell it whenever I breathe,
and I feel I'm suffocating on it.

Your eyes are burnt into mine
because the second my eyes shut,
I see them.

Your voice, you laugh, your words
are embedded in my mind,
I can't get them out of my head.

The feeling of your soft hair,
the feeling of my heart breaking
has not been forgotten.

I've gotten rid of my foolish love
from my mind,
but my heart isn't ready to let go.

The poison still hangs dangerously
around my heart,
so disturbingly close
that it's seeping in.

[Im]Perfect Ten

2010-09-21T08:29:00.002+08:00

Imperfect words with perfect love cannot
contend nor hope to love's sweet touch
convey. Among such uninspired a lot
as they, this joy sublime reads not as such.

Still faith I ask of you that all
I write rings truer in my heart than on
my page. Such joy I know from love's great fall
that each new day be life's unending dawn.

No word of him has passed my lips nor 'scaped
my pen nor shall it now, for word of him
would be but words and air. He shall be traiped
not so through rhyme despite my love - the lure.

I pause, so little can contend a scarcity
of words with his and love's infinity.

__________

Happy Tenth Mothsary, Hun!

What we have might not be the ideal from the start, but each day I believe that we are both growing and building our castle of love.

I love you much!

HILAKBOT

2010-09-15T08:04:00.003+08:00

Pages upon pages
I have traversed time
I blink
Three days pass
And no memories remain

The synapses are slower than before
I breathe
I consume
I procreate
And I have no concept of what occurs

Yet three days later the synapses return
Flashing faster than I ever thought possible
I am talking without thinking
This is unfiltered truth
Spilling my guts to strangers
Not caring if I'm ignored

I am acting independently
But I am still running in circles
Breathe, consume, procreate
A three step program to happiness
Breathe, consume, procreate
A three step program to life
Breathe, consume, procreate
A three step program to destruction
I have lost the knowledge that makes me human

I am a caged animal
On display in the zoo
I am entertainment
I am here to show you what your greatest fear is

You are all afraid of me

Nay, you are all afraid that you are the same as me

That is why you never take your eyes off me
You stare at me
Through me
Around me
You are all afraid that we are all animals

Breathe, consume, procreate
Is that not why we are here?
Take one factor out of the equation and we are wiped off the face of the Earth
All of this talk that creative thought makes us special
We have never contemplated
That "they" have it too
That there is no difference
Besides our outward appearance

This is fear
And yes
I am afraid

Yet I find solace in the fact that you are all the same as me
You breathe
You consume
You procreate

Nothing more
Nothing less
Nothing will be the same again

So You Want to be a Photographer?

2010-09-13T09:25:00.004+08:00

Well, there is no doubt about it, we are in a great age of photography. We have the ability to shoot a photo and instantly know if the photo is overexposed or underexposed. We have the ability to share our photos with people around the world and we have the ability to view our favorite photographers images without leaving our homes. So, who do you want to be like? Chase Jarvis, Joel Grimes, Dave Hill, David duChemin, or Joey L? Or maybe you want to be just like Ash Castro, MJ Cahero, Ian Felix Alquiros? Well hopefully you don’t want to be like any of these photographers. Let me explain.

A few weeks ago I was working on one of my old photographs and I was trying some new stuff. I had just seen an amazing black and white gallery and was trying to add some duotone to my portraits to add even more drama (since my photos don’t have enough drama as it is). Anyway, I spent hours reworking this photo and trying to get something new and different. And I did! Or at least so I thought. I posted the photo up on my multiply hoping to see what others thought and hopefully add something new to my workflow. Well before long, I got a comment that said something like “This is an amazing photo! This looks exactly like a (name withheld) photo.” To most, I think they would take this as a huge compliment but to me it was just a huge disappointment.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure by now you all know how much I love his works work and how he’s been a huge inspiration in my photography. But, that doesn’t mean I want to create photos just like him. I want to use the tools I see in his works, combine them with a bunch of other tools and finally finish it off with my own creativity and personality. No matter what you say, there is no way that another like him and I are the same and therefore it’s fine for me to want to create images just like him. I think this should be a lesson for everybody. There is no point to want to be the next Ash Castro or MJ Cachero. There is simply no room for another ash castro, ian felix alquiros or another MJ cachero. But, there is room for a (insert your name here)”.

The industry may be completely over-saturated with photographers (how many times have you heard that before?) but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for one more person who creatively approaches the photography world with a fresh new outlook. The challenge is trying to be independent and different than everyone else but stay true to yourself. I think it’s a challenge that all creatives face but it’s just something that you have to work through.

Last week, I was talking to a friend about refining your creativity and really becoming a master of your photograph. Everybody has their own style. Some like wide angle lenses, some telephoto, some black and white and some super saturated with color. No matter what, you have your style (you just may not know it). The truly amazing thing is when you take a photo and do certain specific things in an image for a purpose. This is where your creativity really becomes a killer asset.

Step one is really knowing that you have to break your subject down into parts.

Step two is making those actions completely deliberate. Each part of our subject has to be lit in a way that caters to your creativity and thus go together in one cohesive piece in the end. This all goes back to the idea of not just shooting a photo to shoot a photo but shooting a photo and having a reason for it. It’s all about your vision and your creativity.

So, I encourage all of you to not try to be like any other photographer but to be true to yourself and your creativity. Yes, it’s completely fine to take inspiration from other photographers but that doesn’t mean you copy their images down I combined what I learned at the workshop with my workflow that I was already using in hopes of creating something different. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’ve refined my “look” yet but I’m not sure if we ever do. It’s all about having the most tools possible and being able to call on them when you need them. But, the most important tool that you have is your creativity. So use it! Don’t be a slave to your camera or computer and don’t do something because your camera or computer says it’s good. Be deliberate with your actions! Make sure there is a purpose for each decision you make as a creative.

I feel that everything we do is a compilation of everything that we have learned. This blog post in fact is a composite of prior knowledge, we use the same past knowledge and current experiences to contribute to are artwork. I hope this challenges you to find your own vision and avoid trying to be like someone else. There’s only one you in this world for a reason. Make sure you never forget that!

Project | BIOGRAPHY

2010-09-11T18:31:00.002+08:00

POTOGRAPIYA IMAHE
www.khalelzantillan.com

presents

BIOGRAPHY
your life, your stories
An Openphotoshoot project
that is ALL About you!

Shoot Date : September 18, 2010
Location : ATRIUM HOTEL

REGISTRATION PROCEDURE
text your name, email to
0917 971 3253

WHAT TO BRING
Bring T the most significant things
in your life and wear your favorite ensemble
and strike a pose!

REGISTRATION FEE | 999.00

INCLUSIVES

four (4) high resolution photos
hair and make up
styling

PRE REGISTERED PARTICIPANTS FREEBIES
get a hardcopy of your best shot

Pay the PRE REGISTRATION
PAYMENT OF PHP 500.00 thru BDO 290 219 019 (glenn peralta)

for more details
please contact 0917 971 3253

hilot ala ventosa

2010-09-11T18:04:00.003+08:00

You run your fingers down my back
Softer, harder, rhymically, faster, slower,
Deep into the knots that represent
My inability to sit up straight.
The oil smells faintly of fields
But it feels good against my tired muscles.
The soft music drifts to my ears
Relaxing the thoughts of work and play
To a dull buzz in the background.
The blankness is what I long for
During sleep, when I only get nightmares
And confusing dreams of the future.
Too soon, you are finished,
And I must return to the harshness,
The realities of life.

Friday night, right after the first day of the wedding expo where I and glenn attended to help a good friend. He went to SHUI (shway) spa clinic at Perea, Makati City. It was really a surprise, although glenn has been telling me about this little surprise for a week now. Well I do hate surprises, i dont know why but I just dont like them. I dont like the idea of getting off guard about things that is going to happen. But like what I have said, glenn already told me there will be a little surprise for me and kept on asking me if i am stress - so more likely I already have the idea of what the surprise is but I cant let him know that or it will spoil the idea, well now he know (sorry, hon). True enough it was a nice spa treat. Something I really wanna have for the longest time I remember but cant do because of schedules.

So there we were, the eucalyptic air caressess and calm our senses and for more than two hours we had the more soothing experience.

Thank you so much, hon. I love you.

Well Ill tell more about glenn soon. Its a love story worth every detail.

Hush and Listen, Again.

2010-09-10T08:55:00.005+08:00

After more than a year, i am back writing again. It was no mental block nor laziness on my part but sheer disgust to find out that my blog have "killed" by a redirection site. How it happens I really dont know and cannot care anymore. I just feel good that I am finally back on writing again.

So how am i maintaining my sanity for the longest time I am away?

My two concubine is keeping me at peace - my cigarette and my camera.

There is so much to tell, so many stories to relive. Allow this post be the beacon of another chapter for this little blog. At this point, allow me to sing my poems and stories together with my drama i see under my lens.

Thus, i am inviting you all....

Hush and Listen, again.

Dear Khalel

2009-09-02T11:29:00.000+08:00

"wash away my tears"

Dear Khalel,

Hold your breath and don't look down.
Just take it one story at a time.
It's really not so hard.

Sometimes screaming will help you keep the insides inside. There's no turning back, all you can do is hope they'll be there to catch at the bottom; but they won't, and it's never a soft landing. And after you hit the bottom, fracturing every bone, everyone expects you to just tough it up and walk away. But you can't even move your toe, let alone walk.

Everyone passes by so casually; barely even noticing your mangled body laying there. You almost want to laugh but your jaw is lying on the pavement beside you, which makes it a little difficult.

"Take the fall, it's worth the risk."

Just be thankful that you can't see yourself like this. The system is suspended in limbo, the power is on but there's no response. And all that's left is to shut it down and move on.

Khalel, be strong. Be very Strong.

I will be your strength,

CAIRO

IMAHE | KHALEL ZANTILLAN

2009-07-23T07:46:00.000+08:00

"But you see," said Roark quietly, "I have, let's say, sixty years to live. Most of that time will be spent working. I've chosen the work I want to do. If I find no joy in it, then I'm only condemning myself to sixty years of torture. And I can find the joy only if I do my work in the best way possible to me. But the best is a matter of standards--and I set my own standards. I inherit nothing. I stand at the end of no tradition. I may, perhaps, stand at the beginning of one."

- ayn rand

NO ARROWS

2009-05-29T07:51:00.000+08:00

ive lost my concentration.
this outburst of emotions,
this uncontrolable surge of pain,
words seemed to be far away,
and im left here, silenced.

this feeling that wont subdue,
id really hate you if this is untrue.
you stare at me like im the only one.
we both know im not.
but why such pretention?
why such love?

is this cowardice we both manifest?
or is it only i that make matters worse?
you've got someone else beside you.
i've got no one.
love fills me when you speak.
but dried tears well up when the two of you meet.

my jealousy is void,
for you and i, there has never been US.

-khalel zantillan
May 29, 2009

DISCONTENTMENT

2009-05-21T06:45:00.000+08:00

The average; norm.
is there such a form?
Forlorn; torn between a sole journey
and the sojourn of the soul.

The final visionary,
overtaken by solemn undertakings
as serene reality, overshadowed by unreal premise
trickles down, abandoned by discontented minds.

Silenced murmurs echo unchecked,
obscured among lost footsteps of dissident spirits.
Lighten prospects through unenlightenment;
Quench the thirst for reality with tears of confusion.

Shaded nuance and veiled subtlety;
forsaken graces of humanity
when fear of individuality
overwrites morality.

-khalel zantillan
i forgotten how sweet the black tears taste.
rekindling the dying light, beckons: I am home.

THE BLADE

2009-05-21T06:42:00.000+08:00

Whose flesh this is I seem to wonder,
Insanity triggers my conscience.
Your soul is captured by the light
And the dreams of faceless horror.

I shed your lies and let you bleed,
Leaving you scars that remorselessly refuse to heal.
But where has my heart gone you may wonder,
Inside a villain, a rapist, and a ruthless assassin.

The blade is a trigger,
Once pulled or released.
There is no return,
And the life fully diminishes.

My non-virgin hands of the brutal murder,
Soaked in your blood,
Leads me to the vehement fear
As the darkness chooses to fade away.

Your lifeless body lies in my arms of guilt,
And my tears of joy wash your blood away.
You'll wake to see the world on fire,
And the fire releases upon the heavens.

-khalel zantillan 2009
sigh. letting black tears fall once more.

Death of A Spider | Khalel Zantillan

2009-03-31T17:15:00.000+08:00

Lips singing a soft melody in the dark
Of journeys past and about to embark

Hands and feet are slowly failing
Soundless silence, an end to ailing

Outstretched arms, a delicate finger
A touch of life, no need to linger

Each broken leg lay eerily still
All is quiet, no time to kill

Sanguine blood staining the floor
An open gate, an open door

A face filled with jeweled tears
A thousand shards of broken mirrors

The heartbeats begin to fade
For that is the reason why he stayed

______________

Just another poem to save my life.
I dont often reveal my vulnerable spot simply because I hate it when people see me as weak.

But then again, in each death... I will Live.

Ive said Thanks and expressed my love to those people are dearly close to me and my heart tonight. I hope you guys can do the same thing. Sometimes we get so busy and neglect to say this simple words.

NEED HELP1!!

2009-03-22T08:30:00.000+08:00

Glitches on Photoshop CS4 extended.
I Need serial number and keygen. Help Help

FOR SALE NOKIA N96

2009-03-10T07:17:00.000+08:00

for specifications:
http://www.gsmarena.com/nokia_n96-2253.php

SLIGHTLY USED

PRICE: 20K (NEGOTIABLE)
for serious inquiries only

beki

2009-03-09T07:19:00.000+08:00

WHERE IS PHOTOGRAPHY HEADED?

2009-02-20T10:17:00.000+08:00

The evolution of photography has entered a very interesting era: the digital age. In 2004, Kodak announced that it was selling off the remainder of its film stock and no longer designing film cameras. In the new-age of photography, where the “fast-food” concept has intervened, people are taking a new approach and using new techniques to create their images.

To many, the rise of the digital camera has perverted the art of photography, and to many others, the digital age has made their lives much better. In this respect, the purists seemed to be outnumbered by the photographers who rely on speed and accuracy in the business of the art. Ask any photojournalist if she uses film (aside from portraitures) on an assignment and she will laugh in your face. Editors need images NOW, especially since so many readers of newspapers are relying heavily on the Internet newspapers for information – info and images that need to be updated in “real time”.

But not all is lost – film is still widely used among professionals in portraiture, landscape and other disciplines. It is well-known that National Geographic photographers – arguably the best in the world for any publication – use film on all assignments. In short, there are many who feel that the quality of film is unmatched. And thus the great debate: should the quality of film be sacrificed for the speed of digital images? The argument will continue.

The digital age has not only changed the speed at which an image can be processed, but also, 1) how an image is processed, and 2) how photographers actually work. The first instance is quite noticeable: Dark-room techniques are now available in a variety of photo-manipulation software programs (ie, Photoshop). Today, color images can be turned black and white, they can be flipped, cut, bent and superimposed on one-another in just minutes. Again, speed and financial savings are the attractive lure of such software.

The second instance deals more with habit than anything else. Where photographers used to have to measure light and balance aperture, shutter speed, etc. well before a shoot (or be so talented and experienced to balance it at first sight), today, photographers can weigh the measurements by taking a shot, looking at the back of their cameras, adjusting accordingly, and re-shooting the image. In some ways, the digital age is perfect for the lazy photographer, or at least the one who has little time for metering, test slides, triple checking, etc. Again, speed and efficiency rule in this new-era of photography.

With all this said, it is still important for good photographers to know and understand film, if not for image quality, then for the benefit of the photographer’s shooting habits. Using film – especially for beginners - will help teach how to control aperture, shutter speed, composition and light. As the digital age continues to evolve, the future of photography will also change. Whether it is for better or worse is the argument – one where an answer remains to be seen.

HINAGPIS

2009-02-16T12:38:00.000+08:00

Humuhuni naman ang hangin
Ang Hangin bumubulong ng iyong pangalan
Taglay pa rin niya ang Hilakbot at Lamig
Kaluluwa sa Kaluluwa hahagkan ang isat isa.

Pusakal na nga ang panahon
Sa pag iimbot ng kadalisayan
Sa pusong nanunuyo sa kasukdulan
Oo, ikaw nga... ikaw nga.

Dead Again

2009-01-12T12:59:00.000+08:00

Can you really sit in a tunnel of noise and yet hear only silence?
Can you scream so loud that you feel as though your heart will break and yet make no sound at all?
Can you be so trapped within yourself that you see no way out?

How can it be possible to need someone so badly but want every one to stay away even more?
How can you exist in a moment but have no emotions attached?
How can you be in so much pain that you are no longer able to feel?

The overwhelming sense that one more moment of anything that amounts to more than nothing will be more than too much?
Trying to make sense of it all.
Asking questions, trying to understand, trying to be more than the moment but being so buried in it that it suffocates.
Trying to try.

Holding on to the belief in self.
The endless fighting to prove that the lies are the lies and the truth is the truth and someone else's eyes create the muddle and confusion.
The want to believe that things are as they should be, that all the numbers add up.
Denial that projected images are wrong, it has to fit the hole, as long as the square peg fits in the round hole it doesn't matter how it gets there.
Fighting for the truth, but no one wants to rock the boat, no one wants to be wrong, no one will ever be the hero.
The princess will remain locked on the tower and the dragon will sleep peacefully at the door and the knights will sleep peacefully in their beds knowing that no one will think they may be wrong.

Need to fly, need to sleep, need to dream.

They say that time heals all, but why does it take so long?

Pain takes pain, it gives it a moments release but then it goes and all remains as it was.
Sometimes anger takes over pain but then it goes.
Sometimes there is a moment when if only someone would be there it would all go away, but then it goes.
Can anything ever be normal?
Can anything ever be like everything else?

Control and power, power and control.
Need to claw back some need to have something that no one can take away, that no one can have for themselves.
How can emotion be so huge?
How can pain be do clear but no one knows?
Or that no one cares?
Wrapped up in their bubble, don't want anything to spoil it, don't want to share priority, it's all priority and priority doesn't count.
Invisibility has it's own protection but yet there are some things that have to be seen.

Existence is away from reality, a comfort in the imagination.
But only for a little while.
For a little while the imagination can give release.

Is it fear? Running so fast and so hard, running in sleep and running awake always running always trying to sever the invisible ties that bind to the existence of the matter of fact.

Can trust be established?
Can blame be apportioned?
Can freedom be found in forgiveness?
Can there be a key?
Can the thoughts, the memories be pushed so far back that they are less than a haze?
Can they fly back at a moments notice and hit so hard and so fast that they make it hard to breath?
Can half a memory be worse than a whole one because the imagination fills in the blanks?
Can the blanks be so damaging that they are better left alone?
Can guilt be part of doing no wrong?
Can the endless questions be the inner whirlpool that keeps binding the path to moving on?

If freedom comes with time then seconds become minutes, minutes become hours and hours become days and so on.
The time doesn't become forever there are trips and falls along the way but time longer moves on.

Thank You 2008

2008-12-31T07:36:00.000+08:00

I want to thank you, Gracious Lord,
for the good friends you give me;
they are for me a priceless bounty.
Thanks to them, friendship is neither an abstraction,
nor a distant, almost impossible, dream.
I owe to your providence, Lord,
the possibiltiy of counting on
the constant help of friends.
Between me and them you have formed a solid bridge,
which can withstand all threats of destruction.
The happiness with which you have blessed us
enables us to enrich one another.
Lord, tehre was something astonishing,
almost mysterious,
in the way I met my friends;
it was always outside the expected pattern.
But you alone know the reasons
that drew us closer together.
This surprise and joy are refreshing,
and I experience them anew
at every step of my life.
Not all proved to be steadfast friends,
but I have to thank you
for the faithful ones.
I promise to do everything in my power
to deserve this precious gift
that you have reserved for me.
I ask you, Gracious Lord, to keep them safe in your hands,
for they are yours above all.
Amen.

There are so many things to be thankful for this year.
And as it closes, allow me.

To My Ever Dearesr Friends, Jed and Roy.
Thank you for always being there for me no matter what. I love you mga kapatid.

To Vince,
Thank you for the gift of friendship, super bonding tayo this year and lovet!

To My Konzepto Family
Thank you so much for the continous Support and Love.

To My New Found Friends,
Grabe ang dami kong nakilalang mga kaibigan this year.
I know I dont need to name each one of you, thank you for letting me into your life and sharing with the gift of friendship.

To my G4M Last Model Standing Cycle 2 Family, Iportr8ts, PSN, IAFB, James Tuason
Thank you so much for making me feel special with all the wonderful photos.

To my Blogger Family and Readers, thank you for the support.

Happy New Year EveryOne!
Stay Blessed, Beautiful and Free.

ON Giving Up

2008-12-09T15:32:00.000+08:00

To stop does not mean to give up
I simply need to heal my wounds
To stop the blood from flowing
I’m giving myself a chance to live

My thoughts are not your thoughts
Neither my wants your wants
But who is wrong
Is there a right

I can understand your words
But am unable to express my own
We discuss and attempt
But can never agree

I want you near me, beside me
But you misunderstand my meaning
I cry and ache for your presence
But I do not wish for your heart

Perhaps I am incapable of love
A beautiful cold empty shell
A wonderful bauble found on the beach
But dull and useless on your shelf

The Apocalypse

2008-12-03T00:11:00.001+08:00

Misconceptionary,
Disillusionary,
Sick apothecary,
Joyful tragedy,
Hazy visionary,
False prophecy,
Holy blasphemy,
Frank hypocrisy,
Climb the steps of green,
Crush omnipotency's machine,
Contamination,
Purely power hungry,
Anarchic monarchy,
The fictional true story,
The midnight morning glory,
Cinder crosses of burning siege,
Set ablaze by an angry god's seed,
Terror infliction,
Too frozen to freeze,
Infamous celebrities.
Incontagious disease,
Gently raging seas,
Insulting pleas,
Resistant appease,
Tornadic breeze.
Drive the knife through your knees,
Twisted ecstasy,
Apathetically melancholy,
Harvest cyprus reeds,
Ride flaming steeds,
Mercury skies rain golden tears,
Aquatic demons slaughter crystal deer,
Lifeless careers,
Creeping arachnid fears,
Slaughtering,
Smearing,
Endearingly revealing,
Passionate sobriety,
Bloody dismantling,
Aristocratic emancing,
Stone hearts dancing,
Hateful romancing,
Monarchistic rebellion,
Poison kiss,
Eternal eclipse,
The end of the world,
The apocalypse.

THE COPYRIGHT PARABLE

2008-11-29T16:12:00.000+08:00

Kausap ni Juan si Pedro tungkol sa isang kuwentong nais niyang isalibro.
Puno ng pagkamangha si Pedro sa bawat talighaga hatid ng kwento ni Juan. Gayun pa naman ng malapit ng matapos ang kuwento ay kinailangan ng lumisan ni Pedro.

Makalipas ang dalawang linggo nagitlang si Pedro ng mabasa ang isang pamilyar na kuwento sa isang lathalain sa kanilang bayan at lubos pa nitong ikinagitla ang taong sumulat ng nasabing kuwento - Si Juan. Ang kuwentong kanyang nabasa ay ang kuwentong kanyang isinalaysay kay Juan noong nakalipas na linggo.

Agad agad nitong tinungo si Juan upang usisahin ukol sa kanyang nabasang lathalain.
Itinanggi ni Juan kay Pedro na ito ang kuwentong kanyang narinig mula dito at matigas na ipinagdiinan na ito ay mula sa malikhaing niyang pag iisip.

TANONG: SA PAANONG PARAAN MAPAPATUNAYAN KUNG SINO ANG TUNAY NA LUMIKHA NG NASABING KUWENTO?

PROJECT: UNPROFESSIONAL

2008-11-29T15:37:00.000+08:00

Registration Starts: November 29, 2008
Registration Fee: Free for Unprofessional
Locational: PRC
Qualification: You must state here the unprofessional things you have done and must invibe the poem below.
Time: You must at least give one hour for the shoot and pretend you are busy with other things.

Believe that you
sit on a throne of
truth and strength
power and justice.
(Because, you do not)

Think to yourself
you are great and powerful
fierce and confident.
(Because, you are not)

Make other fear you, respect you
bow to you, love you.
(Even though they do not)

Tell yourself you are queen,
champion and master
of vanity and lies.
(Because you are).

P. S.

So what are you waiting for? Register now.
Remember: You MuSt be Unprofessional.

This One is For You

2008-10-08T15:15:00.000+08:00

I am so sorry for everything
for clinging onto you.
for harboring an emotions i felt for you for the longest time i remember.
for falling for someone whom i dont know the name he goes by.
for simply being stupid and loving you.

The Plight of Photography as Art

2008-09-29T10:30:00.000+08:00

For many of us working in the culture industries, we can only dream of a day when a large majority of the population takes an interest in the arts. And while only a tiny percentage actually wield paint brushes or genuinely even look at the various exhibits held at the malls, millions of Filipinos own and carry a medium used by a number of artists today: the camera.

No other medium has taken off to incredibly popularity as photography. Unfortunately, however, the number of camera-owning people has not translated into an equal number of people interested in photography as an art. In reality, the camera’s mass appeal has become like a curse on photography-based art as it has become less valued than art of more traditional media like painting and sculpture.

As Robert Quebral, one of the owners behind Blacksoup Project Art Space, an independent venue that shows photography, puts it, "Every Tom, Dick and Harry can shoot and print photos nowadays."

Tom, Dick and Harry may shoot and print and may even call themselves photographers but for those like Wawi Navarroza, the title "photographer" simply isn’t enough. Preferring the terms "artist working with medium of photography," "artist with camera" or "photo-based artist," Navarroza, who has staged solo exhibits at Blacksoup and Silverlens and is off to Russia in June to teach at the Fotomasterskie Petersburgskie School of Photography, is quick to point out that not all photographs can be called art. "The problem is oftentimes people forget that the words ‘creative’ and ‘artistic’ are two different things. The word ‘art’ is not a cosmetic you can apply to anything that happens to look ‘good’ or was superbly done." Navarroza also differentiates between commercial and art photography: commercial as being made inherently for the purpose of making you buy, while art "makes you question things, to think, to feel, to be in touch with what is ‘human’ in you. Contrary to commercial goals, art doesn’t sell you bottled dreams and aspirations; it actually smacks you in the head and wants you to wake up and be aware."

Silverlens Gallery, the result of owner/photo-based artist Isa Lorenzo’s inability to find a gallery in Manila which understood the photography medium and process, is one of the few venues solely committed to showing photography as an art form. Lorenzo shares, "I think that people in the Philippines have gotten used to seeing cliché images of sunsets and kalesas and understand those as ‘art photographs.’ In their way they are, but the photos we at Silverlens show are images that go beyond cliché and are really about a body of work with a strong idea and shown with curatorial cohesion." Seeing a further need, Lorenzo has set up the Silverlens Foundation, a grant-giving body that is offering critical support for photo-based artists to finish bodies of work and that is providing the backbone for a collection of contemporary Philippine photography.

Aside from Silverlens and Blacksoup, the only other venue this author can think of that exclusively shows photography is the Alcove at Filipinas Heritage Library with the three spaces each defining themselves distinctly. Silverlens banners being the only museum-quality space dedicated to photography and photo-based art; Blacksoup, as an independent art space, offers a more laidback setting and is ideal for quirkier work (such as the lomo exhibit last year); Alcove sets itself strictly for black-and-white photographs. Other venues which have developed a special focus for photography are Lumiere and One Workshop Gallery, although both places also show more traditional art forms, too.

That there are so little venues for photography-based art is testament to a very small market for this art form. The art industry is driven largely by the exclusive nature of pieces — of that one prized artwork unlike any other — which the very quality of photography defies. As a print, it can be continuously reproduced and while the artist only prints a select number, the easily replicated aspect, especially precarious in the age of the digital camera, can be rather a turn-off for art collectors. It "doesn’t sound seductive at all," Navarroza admits. For a living, many turn to event and commercial photography while only occasionally being able to show their photo-based art. Lorenzo smiles at this, saying, "Fortunate is the photographer who gets paid to do personal work."

While photo-based art is a long way off from being essentially appreciated as art in the Philippines (especially by those with antiquated ideas of what art is), there are signs that its recognition as an art form is increasing. A few years ago, a number of these spaces focused on photography didn’t even exist. Silverlens only launched in 2004, Blacksoup opened in 2005 and One Workshop only commenced its gallery and new studio last year. And while most photography exhibits in malls are commercial, cliché or tied to celebrities, a recent exhibit at the Mall of Asia, "Large 8," which featured photo-abstract works blown up to staggering scale, appears to herald a growing appreciation of photography as art.

Navarroza says, "Appreciating pictures for their sheer pleasurable aesthetic value, yes, we do have a lot of those. We all enjoy looking at pictures. But appreciating pictures further for their mental/spiritual/sensual/artistic implications or as critical mirrors to provoke thinking is few and far between. It requires a certain sensitivity of thought and depends on the viewer’s willingness to see beyond the 2-D image."

Appreciating at deeper levels? Seeing beyond the image? It seems that the plight of photography as art is the plight of art, indeed.

Philstar Today- The Plight of Photography as Art -
By Clarissa Chikiamco
http://www.philstar.com/philstar/lif...0704020501.htm

Pintados de Arcana

2008-09-10T12:39:00.002+08:00

interested? please log on to
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G4M LMS Round 4: The Retro Glam Look

2008-09-03T10:27:00.001+08:00

Round 4 : "The Retro Glam Leading Man" Judges Critiques

ROUND 4 THEME RANKING

Category 2 : CHARACTER GLAM CATEGORY

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In this category, we will be looking for models who will be able to create a certain character not necessarily their own but a character they will own. We are looking for expressions that will bring out the model's flexibility from downright fun to classic sophisticated charm, all in the spirit of fashion and glam.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

ROUND 4 : THE RETRO GLAM LEADING MAN

The photo must show the model in a FASHIONABLE CLASSIC RENDITION / POSE like that of a 50's Hollywood leading man (like Cary Grant, Gene Kelly, etc.). The model should be able to create his own look and not copy the existing pegs of the celebrities. The photo should show the model as if he was a contemporary of the 50's movie era. ENTRIES FOR ROUND 4 MUST BE IN BLACK AND WHITE WITH A WHITE BORDER.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Here are the Judges Critiques for the Entries:

Finalist 1 (Oni)

Highs: Great Facial projection. Nice editing.
Lows: It was just alright for me.

I can see that you focused so much on projection, which is a good thing, but you missed on having a fashionable look. The picture looks old instead of being class and classic. You need to be cohesive.

Are you just trying to get this round over with? And this one almost look the same as your first entry. Its not too interesting, and its boring. The sepia, and All, Clothes and hairstyle, worked for you.

Now, remarkably improved. I like seeing you in that pose. The gauntly etchy lines at the border of your photo simply evokes the feeling that it is very old. Short of saying amazing, your picture is one of the best entries in this round. You looked as if you were really born from that era. Very realistic!

It lacks retro-glam appeal. It could have been better if the hair was combed neatly in a pompadour.

I don't get the feel of the '50s from this photo despite the rendition in sepia. The model's sparkling youthful eyes were swept away by the zigzag lines on his '60s long sleeves and the floral cushion on his neck. It is neither fashionable nor classic; merely a rendition in sepia when what is required is a photo in black and white.

If it is purely technical, your entry would have been disqualified since it is specified that the entry should be in black & white (and not sepia). Good thing you gave some effects of the picture being really old and your pose was quite ok. I would like to see a more vibrant look (like that in your audition pics) on the next round if you get past this round.

Love the old picture effect. Pose was a bit safe but interesting enough. Would like to see you in a more out-of the-box look.

Finalist 3 (Rafee)

NO ENTRY SUBMITTED

Finalist 4 (Njames)

Highs: Nice smile.
Lows: It doesn't even look old. The model looks old. I don't like the photo. It's not even compliant to the theme.

Where is your entry? I think you submitted the wrong picture. Next!

I am reminded of the practice of giving pictures with dedication at the back or at the front and yes, it simply depicts the practice of those times. Except for the cool projection and the dedication, I cannot relate how this photo became a part of the 50s.

I was hoping I'd see something like "The King & I" Where is Yul? The photo is good but it doesn't look retro.

The '50s is marked by opulence especially in the US when the country was still on a roll from the spoils of the second world war and emerged as the new global power. The model's toothy smile might have belonged to the '50s but definitely not his unglamorous dark-colored shirt. He should have looked for a pic of Yul Bryner as a source of inspiration.

Nice touch with the signature and MGM logo on the lower left portion of the entry. Smile was casual glam but the standing shirt collar as far as I’m concerned is not really a 50’s thing. You could have worn a much better attire.

Finalist 5 (Chris)

Highs: I like how soft your expression looks.
Lows: Boring.

I can see a leading man but you lack the Glam factor. Your outfit is wrong especially the shoes. The facial expression looks uneasy. The picture is lifeless.

This is safe, its not the best But average. This is a great Shot. You look lovely and handsome. That’s sort of aura leading man must have. Great.

I cannot find anything remarkable with this entry. I did not find anything compelling statement with the photo. One good though, is that the model is being natural and relaxed in his pose. And being a nonprofessional model, he passes with flying colors.

Nice shot … but where is my leading man?

Apparel badly worn. The model seems to have lost his sense of fashion in this photo. The penchant for not wearing socks was not an attitude of the period. It is more of the here and now than the '50s.

Bad angle of the model in this shot. What happened? Looks like you gained weight and what’s with the no socks look?

Finalist 6 (Khalel)

Highs: Nice contrast.
Lows: it looks creepy to me. Bad photo…

The editing looks nice because you look iconic but it also reminds me of a post card of our National Hero. I just wished your hair is not parted and turtle neck is not a 50's touch and feel. I also would have enjoyed the picture if you used contrasting outfit like a Black and White.

Its all about the face are we? Its not my favorite, but it looks old alright. The thing is, if you submitted a whole body picture, it would have given you wide playground for creativity for this certain round.

Very vintage. The entry is exciting, though simply executed. Seems as if we are thrown back to the era of the 50s. I like the simple lines and the faded texture of the photo. Simply amazing.

mmmm… it doesn't look so hollywoodish but Khalel looks retro … Did you use Tancho Pomade? Hahaha … reminds me of the Japanese models in that barbershop where my dad used to bring me for a haircut … circa 60's … hahaha

This is neither Cary Grant nor Gene Kelly but Rogelio dela Rosa brought back to life. Save for the creases on his turtle neck and suit, it is picture perfect.

Retro yet looks a bit creepy with just the head shot and those eyes. It could have been better if this is a whole body shot. Work it some more Khalel.

Finalist 8 (Maki)

Highs: Great facial expression. I didn't think you could pull this off but you did.
Lows: I don't like the editing.

Your edge over your competitors is your commanding presence infront of the camera but again I did not like the hairdo and outfit. A plain polo will look better, shiny hair is a classic, and the nails should be cut short just for this picture. I like the cigar but a tobacco will help you look manly.

This One Looks more of a picture taken from A 1060's gangster Movie, and this is actually The first one MAKI submitted a more masculine side of him. That’s effort,

Fairly safe though I wanted to see more from you in this round. You however have a good projection and this is something different from your previous entries. You know how to play with your eyes now.

mmmmmmm… I just don't like the hair … like I've said you keep changing your clothes, not your facial expression and you could have given that hair a sleek look with pomade … combed it close to your scalp …

Hello, Rock Hudson? Good choice of clothes, bad hairdo. No leading man, too, ever holds a cigarette that way; it's either clipped between the thumb and forefinger or tucked way into the middle finger and the index finger. Your neck, your neck!

Interesting to see Maki’s male persona. Nice composition except for the hair which could have been more slicker and the cigarette which should have been a cigar / tobacco. Over-all it is a good concept for a bad-boy role for a leading man. Good work and transformation. Keep on working it.

Finalist 9 (CJ)

Highs: Great photo. I love the overall feel of your photo.
Lows: The facial expression is a bit boring to me.

This is the best picture amongst the entries in terms of theme adherence and originality. The outfit looks crisp and classic, the curtain and furniture looks vintage, and the total look is just phenomenal.

Now this is authentic, well almost. You look, you dressed up well, Your neat, and authoritative. That’s my leading man. Congrats, Claim this round yours!

Wonderful. Everything looks perfect from the clothes up to the accessories and the background. I think you may have made your mark on this round. I like your boyish charm. If makes one see that you are very very relaxed.

I love that gangster look, nice concept … but then your face look so boyish ...

Definitely a glam shot.

You nailed it for this round CJ. Nice concept and composition. Truly Retro Glam. Congratulations !

The Invasion Experience

2008-08-28T11:11:00.004+08:00

"The Deranged Lover"

Maybe some of you are wondering (or maybe no one really bother - lol) why there hasnt been any new post - poems, short stories and other melodramatic entries this blog is notable for. It is given that I am a finalist for the G4M Last Model Standing but aside from regular work, I got myself into more funnier situation and found myself doing a stint for iportr8s.

Oh yes, a modelling stint for the group of iportr8s, my first for the serious photoshoot actually. And when I say serious shoot, I mean a studio, make ups, lights etc etc.

Ethan, the creative director for the group drop a message in my multiply asking who is the "model" in one of my album photo taken by JT. So i did replied and told him its me. Then he asked me to check a scheduled shoot in their calendar and asked me if im interested. I said, okay - i will give it a try (though I am hearing Jed and Roy at the background saying "you narcissistic bitch!" lol)

So the day of the shoot came.

SATURDAY, August 23, 2008 - DPI Photo Center, Astoria Plaza, Makati City

Photographer: Migs Ortiz Luis
Art Director: Ethan Yamamoto
Stylist: Pib Cap
Assistant Photographer: Tonyo Payomo
Make-up Artists: Pat Largoza & Vee Panes
Hairstylist: Dianne Fernandez

So what do you think guys?
For more photos:
Please log on:

www.iportra8s.multiply.com
www.malecourtesan.multiply.com

G4M LMS: Round 3: The Anime Look

2008-08-26T10:14:00.002+08:00

ROUND 3 THEME RANKING

ROUND 3 TOP MODEL : FINALIST # 6 (KHALEL)

Congratulations ! You have truly worked harder this time to come up with an entry worthy to be on top. Most of the judges saw the creativity and the element of surprise you gave in this round even if you partly covered your face. Keep it up and try to stay on top.

TO THE RUNNERS-UP

This round has given the judges another set of mixed critiques which truly depended on their preferences and backgrounds. Most of you got the certain look we were looking for but somehow lacked a few elements to be on top. Nevertheless, you are all advancing to the next round. Just remember that your projection is always important to the theme being presented. It will either break you or put you on top. Try to experiment and take calculated risks. Graphic manipulation should complement the overall look of the final entry. Research is very much crucial.

ROUND 3 ELIMINATED MODEL : FINALIST #7 (RAYMOND CRIS)

We truly regret to inform you that you are at the bottom rank this time. The judges had a hard time giving you the scores for this round given the fact that you have been consistently on top from the two previous rounds, specially since you also got the Category 1 Top Model Award. The look could have been good had it been for the questionable (and controversial) placement of your head on top of the figure shown. As much as we would like to believe it was not edited, your overall shot didn't make it in. This is your weakest entry. With that, you have been eliminated.

Thank you very much for joining this cycle. We hope you enjoyed your stint and learned from it. You will be receiving your Category 1 Top Model Prize on the end of this cycle - during the awards night.

ROUND 3 "THE ANIME CHARACTER" JUDGES CRITIQUES

Here are the judges critiques for the Round 3 Entries:

FINALIST 1 (ONI)

Better entry than the previous round. Eventhough you look like you are really doing the runway and have a polished look, a lighted cigarette on your right hand was a bit disorienting unless of course you are promoting a fashion show cigarette company sponsor. Projection was a bit safe and commercial. Strive harder on the next round. Keep up with your competitors. Interesting manga lay-out though it's not actually necessary.

I am pleased with the overall concept. Though tame, I am partial to reality shots. The entry says it all, Kudos. You have submitted a very clean presentation and you have highlighted the best in you. Now I can see the model. A very handsome model indeed.

Lucky for you that you presented different profile pictures on the side w/c made it a 50/50 performance, half good and half bad. The comics set-up and Japanese inscription is a nice touch but your over-all look and pose is too common except in your turtle neck profile shot.

The use of frames on the left side of the photograph emphasizes the common knowledge that anime originated from Japan as illustrations for comics. Such information, however, is not reflected in the photo on the right which recreates in live form an anime character as the model appears more of a party animal on his way to a night's gimmick in a hotel. Animation requires a lot of abstraction which cannot be found in the flat concept and drab execution.

A LITTLE SHORT ON THE ANIME LOOK….BUT IT’S A VERY POLISHED ENTRY.

If without the japanese texts written, I would not thought of it "anime-ish" . There are just some points that are missing in this picture. I can’t understand japanese, but I know it’s japanese, you could have given your 100 percent to pull this one, in terms of projection. I thought you lack intensity in your eyes, its boring to watch, a not so bad but definitely not the best from the bunch. But all in all I like The picture, its as if ripped from a manga magazine.

Playing safe again but a much better entry than the last 2 rounds. Try your best to work out your round 4 to be able to stay in this competition. It would have been cool had you used your other outfit instead. You should have removed the lighted half cigarette and the red carpet to be able to convince the judges that you are strutting on the runway and not in a red carpet affair. Overall, the manga style of presentation though not necessary managed to give you some scores, but it could have been best if you concentrated on making your runway shot more anime. A smiling look though is a fresher way to be different in the runway but nevertheless it didn't advance you in the pack.

HIGHS: Polished look. Manga style lay-out, safe model's projection
LOWS: cigarette accessory, red carpet runway, concentrated more on the lay-out than the actual runway shot.

FINALIST 3 (RAFEE)

You totally differentiate your look again coming from your boyish look last round to the girly-girly anime look. You took a chance here and I totally dig your shot being in character. Nice projection, though you could have done away with the neon special effects and the awkward arm calisthenics.

I don’t know what happened but there is something wrong here. You were not your usual self. I cannot even distinguish you at all. Either I am not familiar with what kind of anime you were projecting or I must be blind. The psychedelic concept looks good though.

You are consistently nailing the concept but your projection is getting weaker each round. I am sensing that you are trying to be fierce but don't forget that you need to engage us w/ your eyes. You are looking too much on the side w/c made it hard for me to feel the full impact/intensity.

This model understands what anime is. The use of purple electric lights that runs all over his body and the graphic manipulation of double imaging or shadowing attest to that assertion. However, the "girl" in this photo is too much of a "boy" with oversized breasts. Anime characters are "feminine" when they are females and "masculine" when males; androgyny cannot just be inserted into the anime discourse without ruining the concept.

CHEERLEADER?

You know how to work your eyes, you know exactly what you want, but sometimes I feel like you are exaggerating a bit. I am just not convinced that you are claiming this character yours, and I do not see runway, and try to be flexible. You can be deadly glamorous even if you are looking anime. Looking at this photo, you simply pose, and that’s it. This is anime alright, thanks for the purple aura surrounding you. , then again, this is not a bad picture.

You could have opted for a more fiercer outfit that would match the make-up. Would have loved to see your face than a side view… and what's more disorienting is the placement of your hands. Better work out the magic again and surprise everyone.

HIGHS: Different look (girly-girly), neon effects
LOWS: awkward arm posture

FINALIST 4 (NJAMES)

Somehow, I see your attempt on trying to be different in your poses though I'm actually hoping you'll push yourself some more to go out of the box. Would have loved the look if only you didn't use flipflops but actually used boots. A graphic marking on your chest would have made your look a bit fierce and would have complemented your metal neckpiece. The giant fan was an interesting add-on though.

You are improving round by round. I can see a different you. Your photo draws the viewer to the effort you took in this shoot. A little bit off on the anime side, but you are very discreet in showing the anime, and took on highlighting the accessories. As for you, you are just simply being you.

Last week I was bored but now you are back on the game. I love your pose because eventhough it is a strenuous one, you made it look relaxed and easy. I just wished you tilted your head downward because the angle of the camera does not work for you but rather against you.

This is more of a punk pic than anime. It is not clear what kind of character the model is portraying in this photo save for the huge Japanese fan on the background. Characters derived from comics illustrations, once brought to life by models, are more colorful and unique.

NOT A RUNWAY SHOT BUT I LOVE THE CONCEPT...

Nice extension of leg right there, and you are simply displaying what might you can do, but not totally showing it all. That boardwalk can be a runway, but you didn’t use it well, its not even glamorous to look at. I like what you did with your head, you tilted a bit, and extending your neck, adding some length.

If not for the humongous fan, I find your outfit lacking with something. You could have added some fierce elements like body art to complement the eye make-up. Eventhough your pose is a bit different from the rest of the entries on the ramp you chose, it actually worked in your behalf. Better entry than the last time. Keep on working it Njames.

HIGHS: Effective pose & projection (though a slight lowering of the head tilt could have sufficed)
LOWS: come up with better accessories and footwear to complement the look

FINALIST 5 (CHRIS)

It could have been a good anime runway shot but it looks like you lost your left hand here. It would have been better had you just kept the long jacket on even though its opened. Loved the scarf though.

Now, there's the drama. I will not mind the editing. It subtly shows that the world is your runway. The eyes, though awkwardly projected , has been your strongest strength. The choice is superb, I must say. This is confidently saying that "I am this persona" and you succeeded.

I think you should start getting naked again because this picture is very weak compared to your previous entries. The concept was not clear and the projection is dead. It does not titillate me literally and figuratively speaking.

An intelligent rendition of anime. On the background is Da Vinci's perfect circle; at the foreground is a male character whose upper torso is divided between nakedness and formal attire. However, the suspended robotic motion does not fit well into the dynamic circle and therefore lessens the impact of a zombie-like projection of the model.

….A TATTERED SCARF COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.

Nice that you did some little drama in your eyes, together with your arms, it displays supremacy. But it’s not as impressive as it should be. When you made this shoot I believe you wanted to create a picture depicting an anime character, and you did, simply anime looking picture and nothing more. This is not glamorous, and I can barely see the runway. Theme also should be advised to minimize manipulation of photo, you are not just judged by your projection, but the whole picture submitted.

Something is totally wrong in this entry. You seem to have lost your hand here and the face is looking dead than fierce (unless of course that's your point). It could have been good had your graphic artist minimized on the effects and gave you some accessories instead. If you get past this round, better concentrate on making your entry believable.

HIGHS: Very manly, dead-pan look
LOWS: too much graphic effects

FINALIST 6 (KHALEL)

You totally rock with this outfit and you look quite different from the khalel we've been seeing. Eventhough I could not see your whole face, your overall projection is quite good in a mysterious kind-of-way like you are really doing the strut on the runway . Fashion is very couturish-anime. You hit it good for me. Keep it up!

Wow! Very fashionable. There is motion. There is energy. You are every inch of a model. Showing your eyes proved effective. But I cannot see the character. Only an ordinary character.

You stepped up in this round from conceptualization up to execution. Your picture is the perfect example of what I want to see in Oni and Rafe's picture. This is the exaggeraterd version of Oni's turtle neck and this is what I want Rafe to angle his eyes, not too much outside of the camera's direction.

The model succeeds in recreating an anime character of his own: the colorful attire, the bizarre eye makeup, the punkish hairdo, and the special amulet swinging on his right hand. The photo is high-fashion enough yet anime indeed. Good job, Khalel!

ALMOST PERFECT..SO WHAT IF THE FACE IS HIDDEN….THATS THE LOOK AND I LOVE IT.

This is cunningly fabulous; this show was taken when you are making your walk in the runway. The Character is there, the dress looks good on you. Stunning display of weapon ( if that’s what it is) and ready to whip your challengers. This Round is definitely yours to take. Nice JOB!

I so love this look. It somehow reminded me of an actual fashion show. You could have chosen a better background on the sides to complement the glass (or metal sheet) runway. Keep it up. You nailed it man !

HIGHS: interesting outfit and projection
LOWS: Would have liked the make-up had your face been shown

FINALIST 7 (RAYMOND CRIS)

Outfit looks somehow edited though I will give some points for the effort of coming up with a rather amusing anime entry without so much effects like the previous ones. I guess it's somehow hard to be on the top of the batch. Simplicity of your projection in this entry is quite commendable compared to the previous entry.

This is your weakest entry. Though simple, I can only find merit in your color combination. Nothing else. Maybe, things have not fallen into place. You lost the fierceness, and ended up stale in your projection.

The only anime in this picture is the belt and the use of colors. The picture looks rushed and not fully edited w/c made it look more of a puppet rather than a model. This is the weakest performance as compared to your previous entries.

A model on the ramp, not an anime character.

THE RUNWAY LOOK VERY CONVINCING BUT NOT WITH THE ANIME THEME...

This is not your best, if I have to compare your previous Entries. I was actually excited when this theme was announced a week ago. I thought you can do this effortless. I was expecting too much maybe that I’m a lil bit disappointed. Nice projection, as if taking the walk. Eyes are projected nicely, and I’ve never thought rock-lee can be that fabulous. Nice.

Somehow you chose to simplify things compared to the last 2 rounds you did. With that, you lost a bit of your sparkle. Save for the outfit colors and your walk, this is just a safe entry for you. It also looks like your head has just been placed on top of the outfit. I hope you will come up with a better entry for the next round.

HIGHS: Simple yet colorful
LOWS: Your head looks like it was just placed on an existing model doing the walk

FINALIST 8 (MAKI)

Interesting overall shot, clean yet stylish. I just don't like the shoes though, it's kinda boring. Would have loved it if only you had worn the boots you used during the recycled fashion look. Nice projection, looks like you are really doing the actual show. Surprise us some more.

I do not know. I like it and I don’t like it. But I like the vividness of your background. As a model, you are improving on the projection. But it is still short compared to your peers. I like the outfit. It is fashionably comfortable. And I am not sure if this adhered to the theme at all.

I like the background and even the choice of outfit. The idea of flipping the end of your coat is brilliant because you captured motion. You almost have everything except for a good make-up and hair stylist to further enhance the Anime look.

There's nothing anime here. The clothes worn by the model can be seen worn by anyone else any day. There is something special and unique with anime characters that the model failed to hit.

I DON’T SEE ANY TRANSFORMATION..DIFFERENT CLOTHES BUT THE SAME FACE & EXPRESSION.

Fierce, and sexy. Your lips always get in the way every time I look at you. And you complimented it well with your fierce eyes I like the whole picture, and its clean looking. Nice Job.

This is a refreshing entry and it actually looks like you are doing it in the runway. Loved the movement of your coat. It would have been much better had you used a more daring eye make-up and hairstyle to have that anime look. A knee-high kind of boots could have also worked with the outfit. Try to change your look and go out of the box. An element of surprise might make you soar on top of the pack.

HIGHS: Nice overall look - fresh and clean. Work it out some more girl !
LOWS: You could use some more make-up and a new style for your hair to complement the look.

FINALIST 9 (CJ)

Better entry, commendable effort. I actually liked the shot. It looked somehow like a ramp show (nice touch with another person also strutting away in the background). A bit nationalistic touch with the shirt graphic, nice arm and face markings, vivid colors ... overall look was simply amazing. Great work !

Boyish… and cool…. And apparently, very relaxed. But I cannot find the theme. But you are just wonderful.

I believe you nailed this picture and your execution is simple yet original and there is harmony. The outfit and background blends well and the setting is relatable. The Filipino influence and smoking is a bad combination in reality but in this picture it is perfect.

Well, the Olympics is almost over and the Philippines failed to enter even the finals of any category; the same with the model who failed to comprehend why he is in this competition.

MMMM VERY NATURAL….

You are too cool to look at. This is pure personality right there. You claimed well the character. You took it as yours, not that glam but strong. I like this picture. I love the cool blue theme, I love how you projected, Nice eyes. This, among the bunch, is the most believable for me. I like how it’s done.

The other refreshing entry for this round. Except for the balding guy in the background,( which I was hoping was stylized to complement the whole shot to make him more like part of the show), the coolness and attitude of the model was evident. A nationalistic flavor combined with the japanese blade and body markings made me believe that anime was infused in this look. This entry can actually pass for an actual runway show look. Good job!

HIGHS: Nice color combination with the outfit and the shot
LOWS: You could have edited the background guy's hair so as to complement your shot/walk and not be a distraction.

G4M LMS: Round Two

2008-08-21T11:45:00.002+08:00

ROUND 2

"THE ELEMENTAL ROYALTY"

What is an ELEMENTAL ROYALTY?

Simply defined in this competition to be Someone of Royal Lineage, (either a King, Queen, Prince, Princess, Lord, Lady, Duke, Duchess, etc.) who has the power to control one of the four elements - Fire, Earth, Air and Water.

With this in mind, let us read what the Judges have to say:

FINALIST #1 (ONI)

Highs: I love how the light touches your skin. Dramatic yet subtle.
Lows: I do not think it has something to do with the theme. It’s all mist and sparkle to me.

This is better than your first attempt but you are consumed by too much effects. One of your eyes is hidden and the other is just peaking through. I just wished you balanced the concept and you as the subject. Sometimes less is really more.

I LIKE THE VEILED LOOK BUT IT’S NOT MAJESTIC ENOUGH.

A star-spangled face cannot make anyone an elemental royalty.

This is a nice Picture, and nothing more. The Misty water effect doesn’t make you GOD looking. Ive Seen several perfume ads from a magazine looking exactly like this and you could have pulled this round off if you work well with your chosen element. The Projection is good and creativity is poor.

I seem to notice your penchant for the abstract, for the non-conformist style. I am beginning to like the way you submit your entries. There is character. But you have a weak portrayal. There is something lacking - the confidence.

This is a better entry than your first round, unfortunately it could have been better if you should more than your face. I could see the royalty and fashion in this entry eventhough the feel of the element of water is very evident.

FINALIST #2 (RODGE)

Highs: I should commend your make-up artist. The look is so reminiscent of Lawrence of Arabia.
Lows: Your picture is way out of adherence from the theme. I don’t get it…

This is better than your first attempt in terms of projection and even your outfit. I just need you to nail the concept and make it obvious. Just continue the progression of your projection and then merge it with the concept.

MMMMM….IS IT SNOWING?

Where's the "spirit of the wind"?

Most Models use their eyes to convey emotions depending on whatever theme a creative director and the photographer wants. And you communicated well with the camera. Pretty portfolio picture, but I felt something is lacking. Your projection is pretty awesome.

Better than the last one, but still short. You have to push yourself more into making us believe that you are a royalty.

Eventhough your face looks great, the element of air is not really felt so much. It could have been dramatic if you only had shown more of your body than just your cropped face. It could have worked for a perfume ad though.

FINALIST #3 (RAFEE)

Highs: Great Concept. Fire god with a bad-ass attitude. Nice effects, Great make-up, and nice body image. It is great that you listened to the critiques.
Lows: You should have submitted a bigger size file of your picture.

I am expecting a lot from you because of the potential I saw in your previous entry. You still grasped the concept but it was a bit X-men-ish for me. I cannot see the expression from your eyes because of the eye makeup and the distance of this shot. I applaud the versatility you are trying to impart from last week's feminine pose to this week’s rebellious villain. I hope your next interpretation is out of the box and extraordinary.

ITS TOO PUNKY.

One can "play with fire" with more gusto than the model's pose here. I like the way he used his hands and fingers but not his body angles. The eyes were also covered and upstaged by the pouted lips.

You know how to project, and in terms of creativity, Winner. This round, Fire is the most favorite element, challenge is how to stand out among the bunch of fire masters. Freshly baked, and a standout. You have a strong facial expression. You work well with the camera, right attitude for the element chosen. Fire sometimes is being use to symbolize Terror or Anger, and certainly this is not a classic. Congrats.

Cool is the way to describe this entry. May I ask if you are a modern elemental royalty? Your entry went against the stereotyped notion of what a royalty must look like. And apparently, you came in safe.

I couldn't see the royalty in this shot unless you are depicting a rebellious modern day fire prince. Overall, it's somehow out of the usual concept of royalty, nicely done and somehow shows a different side of who you are compared to your first round entry. Keep on surprising us.

FINALIST #4 (NJAMES)

Highs: Nice photography. I love the texture of the picture. I love the lightings and how the photographer played with the dimension of the scene.
Lows: Nice attempt but I do not see a royalty in the picture. A peasant perhaps. Sorry, but this does not work for me. Work on your angles. You don’t look like a model here.

I am starting to get bored with your pictures. I don't see a range of emotions and the shots were almost similar. I am not getting your concept in one glance but it needs more imagination and interpretation. I need you to exaggerate your facial expression and be more elaborate in your execution.

MMM YOU COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING MORE , THAN JUST WEARING THE SHELL HEADPIECE…

I am not sure what element the model wanted to utilize. Shells can be found in the sea but once used to decorate one's body become elements of the earth. The model's eyes are meaningless, too.

Nice picture, but not great. This looks like the same as your previous entry. You are giving us the same look, where you can actually do so much with your facial expression. Try to be more fierceful, I think you’re playing it safe. Your competitors are very Edgy with their entries, fierce. I feel you have the potential to do that as well. You must be represeting water, if not for the seashells I would have mistaken this picture as some promotional Print Ad of some Local male Pageant. Hope to see more of your modeling potential next round, if you can make it to the next cut.

I have to admit. I have a prejudice for entries that were least edited. The nuances you make, you look like a benevolent royalty. But there is still room for much improvement. Safe, this time.

Something is lacking on the way you project yourself in this shot. It's not so exciting but it is a safe entry. I think you have some potential but you seem to not try coming up with a different look for your entry. It somehow looks overly the same and it tends to be boring.

FINALIST #5 (CHRIS)

Highs: Nice concept. Your facial expression look better compared with your previous entry. Nice body. Nice editing.
Lows: I’m not quite sure if this is fashion. I don’t know what you were modeling. The theme is somewhat fictional but you should not neglect the “fashion” of the theme.

I am seeing a trend that you are really comfortable getting naked and it works but I must warn you that monotony can lead to being predictable. I cannot clearly point what element you are trying to portray. I would appreciate if you used props instead of special effects to make it more fluid and believable. Do not be too complacent being naked.

THERE IS MOTION IN THIS PIC…I JUST WANTED THE EYES TO BE MORE EXPRESSIVE AND FIERCE.

The model succeeded in projecting himself as a superhero, an elemental royalty indeed. Though I would have wanted to see the left leg stretched out to avoid an illusion of an amputated leg, the photo was saved by model's projection, body angle, and color scheme.

This is earth, and you’re the super hero. I honestly like the picture, and it looks like an image from the creation of Jonathon Earl Bowser ( which by the way is my favorite Fantasy Art Artist) You should work more with your projection and use or put some intensity in your eyes. Even if you’re the toughest superhero you still look like the boy next door type. You are good looking, all in all this is nice.

You are improving. That is good. The photo was great. The editing was clean. The background was great. And you have excellently balanced the focus on your face and the shining hands. To me, that was excellent.

Nice concept. Better than the first round entry you submitted. Good work. Keep it up. Just bear in mind that you also have to show yourself dressed and not bank on too much exposure of your skin as it tends to be repetitive.

FINALIST #6 (KHALEL)

Highs: I love the effects on the pics. You truly look like a water god. Very sexy, yet very artistic. I love how the illustrator played with water and how he made you look like a water nymph.
Lows: You’re missing your limbs on the picture. Crop properly…

This is an improvement from your first picture but I can't see an expression from your face and eyes. Your concept is elaborate but it looked stiff just like your pose. I need to see that you are in command and not the background or special effects.

FACIAL EXPRESSION IS GOOD,IT BLENDED WELL WITH THE SPECIAL EFFECTS, … NEPTUNE?
Nicely done photoshop to simulate an underwater shot. The elemental is there but not the royalty. Furrowed brows do not make one royal enough.

If Greeks have NAIAD NYMPHS, we have Khalel to counterpart the Nymphs of Greek Mythology. Male version nymph equally sexy, hot, and mystifying. You look great in this picture a better entry than your previous. Projection is great, creativity is great. Good job

Wow! This is fierce. You outdid yourself compared the last time. Now you are showing and using your eyes. The only negative I can say is where are the clothes?

FINALIST #7 (RAYMOND CRIS)

Highs: Great overall picture. The background works well for the picture. Nice facial expression. Overall concept. Wow!!!
Lows: I'm not quite sure what you were modeling. Is it the undies, make-up etc?

This is a better execution than your first picture. This is well executed from the pose, hair and makeup and visual effects. There is balance and order in your picture. I just wished you chose a literally fierce expression that relays the message that you are the master of fire. You look like you are sweating from the heat of your own element.

MMMMM SO HALLOWEENISH…CROWNING OF THORNS?

The model's eyes were deadened by image treatment. The pupils are too large to evoke any royal emotion. Fire has several colors, too, not only red if the model ever observed a candlelight.

Fire, in primeval ages, was a symbol of respect, or an instrument of terror. In this picture you manifested both ways. I can feel the angst, anger as if about to cast Hell to earth. Anyhow, you communicated well with your eyes, good projection. You executed the theme well. Good job !

This may be too much for me. I know it is excellent but is it my over-reaction , or was it overdone. I cannot find you. Only a statue. In fairness, the entry is very very creative.

Nicely done except for the undergear and a portion of the background. It could have been much more overly dramatic though if instead of the crown of thorns, you should have used swirling fire around your head and an overly fiery scenario. Weird hand on the shoulder projection though.

FINALIST #8 (MAKI)

Highs: I love the overall picture. It seems like you are modeling a make-up brand. Very editorial.
Lows: Whoever applied your eye make-up needs to practice some more.

I never thought that it is possible to produce a magical and enchanting shot using just normal daylight without any special effects. The rawness of the picture stood out from the rest. Your serene and yet haunting expression bagged this category for you. Keep it up.

MMM THE DIWATA….REMINDS ME OF MID-SUMMER NIGHTS DREAM..

Nice color scheming, bad modeling. The body has to say something "royal"; so with the eyes.

In Roman Mythology, the goddess of the Earth was Tellus and you must be her daughter and twin sister to Poison Ivy. You look stunning sexy. But hey, If you have to be the Goddess, Be the Goddess, All in all this is a great Photo.

Nothing wrong in what I see. This time, I will have to focus on you. You finally did something on your hair and that is good. I find something lacking, and I cannot seem to tell it.

FINALIST #9 (CJ)

Highs: Now this is what a royalty should look like. You look so commanding on your pic. Nicely done and I’m so glad this picture did not rely on the digital editing of the pics. Great job guys!!!
Lows: Again, please crop properly. You are missing your feet.

I can see your potential in terms of conceptualization but you lack the right mix of projection. You need to focus on what angles will work best for you because you already have the perfect locations, backgrounds, and costumes. I suggest you watch ANTM to get some pointers.

A TIGHT SHOT OF THE FACE COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER..I LIKE THE MAKE UP.

Majestic look save for the excessive use of textile.

Ceejhay,You are surprisingly looking different in a good way. I’ve never seen you like this before and you are working very well. However, I think you need to work more with your Projection. You have to be as competitive as the others. You are almost there.

I like what I saw. I like the way you stood up as a royalty. But I do not like that way you projected. There was a question, but I do not see the debacle. Overall , fair.

Round 2 Eliminated Model: FINALIST 2 (RODGE)

We regret to inform you that you are eliminated from the competition by a few points. We hope that somehow your stint from this experience has been worthwhile and educational. Thank you very much for joining G4M-Last Model Standing Cycle 2. We hope to see you on our future cycle. Best wishes.

The 8 Remaining Finalists for Round 3

"The Anime Character"

The Pond

2008-08-15T16:32:00.003+08:00

"The Pond"

Credits:

Photographer: JT
Post Processing and Editing: Maestro Pablo de Diablo

Also would like to thank shizahi for the inspiration. I fell in love with his works.

Maestro, thank you fulfilling a dream. ahehehe

Peace and Love Everyone!

Happy Weekend!

_____________________________

UP Next:

G4M Last Model Standing Round Two
Category: The Elemental Royalty

Hindi Ako

2008-08-15T15:55:00.004+08:00

Hindi ako mangmang gaya ng iniisip mo;
Marunong lang ako tumahimik kapag di tama ang nasa utak ko.

Hindi ako tanga para laitin mo;
Marunong lang ako magpakumbaba sa mga taong may sira sa ulo.

Hindi ako manhid para saktan mo;
Marunong lang akong magtimpi at magpasensya sa mga katulad mo.

Hindi ako bulag na hindi nakakakita sayo;
Ayoko lang punahin ang mga maling hindi mo mabago.

Hindi rin ako bingi gaya ng inaakala mo;
Naririndi lang ako sa mga paulit-ulit na pagdadahilan mo.

Hindi ako lalong pipi tulad ng sinasabi mo;
Wala lang akong tinig para magpaliwanag ulit sayo.

Hindi ako perpektong tao;
Nagkakamali rin ako kahit di ko gusto.

Hindi rin ako pikon kumpara sayo;
Ngunit nauubos din ang aking pisi at mahirap maamo.

Hindi ako isang inutil na walang silbi;
Marunong lang akong mamili ng mga taong dapat kong ipagbunyi.

Hindi ako karapat-dapat para iyong ipagmalaki;
Marami akong nagawang tama ngunit marami ring mali.

Hindi ako nagmamahal ng hindi bukal sa puso;
Totoo akong kausap at wala akong niloloko.

At hindi ako naghihintay ng kapalit sa mga nagawa ko;
Gusto ko lang ibigay din sakin ang nararapat para sa mga ito.

_________________

Photo: Khalel
Photographer: Mr. Jay Plogman
Location: Makati

Note:

Jay, thank you so much for the photos. They are Lovely!
See i told you, the instant i saw them i got inspired

and this is just part of the series.

My apologies though, i think you will be needing ed's help on this one.
Thanks Genius!

________________________

Up Next:

I HAVE BEEN DIGITIZED BY THE MAESTRO PABLO DE DIABLO!

Korean M2M

2008-08-14T10:13:00.002+08:00

si kuya and si bunso

_______________

Noted:

Uno made this one.
Love it!

G4M - LMS Round One

2008-08-13T08:26:00.002+08:00

Here is the Official Category 1 Round 1 "The Recycled Fashion Look" Results.

ROUND 1: The Recycled Fashion Look

The photo must recreate a high fashion lay-out using only recyclable items for the outfit.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#10 (DAN) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 10

I thought I was seeing the Next Iron Chef. But the items you used excited me. That is very creative. Even though much was covered, I can still see the slouch. I can see that you are not relaxed. You are pushing yourself into something else that it did not match the intensity your clothes had generated. I liked the squint, but it is a bit contrived.

This is the twist wherein the concept picture looks bad as compared to the recreated picture but both already used recyclable materials and are not fashionable. It looks as if a school presentation from his childhood. The model lost the fashion sense of this theme but focused on too much recycling.

Highs: Well used light.

Lows: You based your entry on a silly picture/peg… Why? This competition should not be taken lightly if you want to be successful.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#9 (CJ) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 9

The concept and execution is good because he chose to actually re-enact the whole scene. I just wished he copied everything except for the facial expression of the girl because it looked awkward than being sexy. Nice try but I expect a better next round.

Now, this is truly a literal interpretation of the go green concept. The effort is outstanding and you visually translated the theme into reality. The effort you took to do this is commendable. As a model, you are still raw. You can still improve in the succeeding rounds. Overall, this is a safe entry. You will be able to do more in the next rounds.

Highs: Nice attempt. I love how you use a simple rice sack and made it look like a denim.

Lows: Neck down it's good. Face, mmm. Practice your facial expression. All I can see is your nostrils. Experiment on what looks good on you.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#8 (MAKI) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 8:

Highs: wow!!! Speechless. I love it…

Lows: I don't like the background. I don't like the hair.

Almost all used plastics and I am having second thoughts whether plastics is indeed recyclable. You can project. The effort into creating the entry is obvious. The contrasting steel bar where you sat gave your photo contrast. You could have done something on your hair to make you more fierce, but that is ok. Only that you looked so small with your undulating trail. It is hugging the limelight out of you.

The concept picture overshadowed the recreated picture in terms of projection and even the clothing. It lacks intensity in the face, make-up, and the touch of red. The concept picture is a clever choice and I just wished it was given more justice.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#7 (RAYMOND CRIS) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 7:

Highs: Now this is something I would use in a magazine. Nicely done. Good job!!!

Lows: You should have used your entire body in this picture. Please crop appropriately.

I liked the playful attitude. I like the way you handled color. I like the concept because it shows variety. But you may have looked a little bit awkward, or maybe that was how you conceptualized this. You looked like a discarded doll thrown away by a very bratty child. But the use of recycled materials was very very creative.

The model adhered to the theme but putting the two pictures side by side makes me wonder if it was really recreated. I love the garment because it looks Avant Garde while the make-up is gothic but the face lacks the necessary emotion to carry the entire look.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#6 (KHALEL) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments/critiques for FINALIST 6

The recyclable material is not that obvious and well utilized especially using a B/W effect. This looks like a second rate copycat of the concept picture. The eyes, again is dead as compared to the concept picture where you can still feel the intensity though it is a side view shot.

Now, you caught me flat-footed. Not only the effort showed as you integrated the green into the outfit itself and not the background, surely will make your entry worth noticing. I like the way you handled yourself. You are so full of confidence and I was impressed. That is more than enough for me.

Highs: Neck down it works for me…

Lows: Gee man. This is not recycled!!! I'm sorry but you paled miserably because of your un adherance to the theme. Your side view did not work for you. You should have just taken the inspiration from the pic and did your own interpretation.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#5 (CHRIS) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 5:

My problem with this picture is that the concept picture looks better than the recreated picture in terms of the overflowing use of sex appeal. I salute the model for taking risk in showing his body w/c is in a way appealing but his face does not relate w/ what he wants to relay. It will also adhere more to the concept if he used a recyclable material instead of wearing his undies.

I liked the vastness of the background with all the newspapers around. I like Chris' bareness. I liked the brown floors. Truly earthy. The model - I liked the way his photographer did with the lights and focusing on him without suffocating him. He is sexy but not flirting. But he looked nervous. And I find him a little bit stiff, or was that supposed to be intentional? One good thing, he did not get drowned with the stacks of newspaper hugging the background.

I’m so SORRY though, i just realized that Chris was not wearing a recyclable outfit.
In this bareness, I got distracted by the newspapers around. a great photo though, but I must abide by the rules "The photo must recreate a high fashion lay-out using only recyclable items for the outfit."

He was not wearing any outfit at all to see the recycled materials. A bubbly bathrobe made of plastics can hardly qualify for something that is recycled.

Highs: I like your bubble wrap robe. It was hard for me to distinguish though.

Lows: You look like a miniature on the background you used. Your facial expression looks awkward. Practice on the mirror and be more expressive.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#4 (NJAMES) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 4:

Highs: Nice photography. The natural lighting looks good on you.

Lows: Dude, you have a nice body. Use it!!! Sad to say, you cannot bank on your face alone. You look sad on your photo. Take risks… It might do you good.

I am overwhelmed by this batch. They have practically the same quality. Expressive Eyes! I admire the soft tone rendition of Njames' entry. The balance in which he crafted this entry is worth mentioning. He carefully took care of highlighting the theme, without taking the focus on him. The effect is gratifying because of that selflessness. The overall effect is simple serenity, fluidity.

Again the concept picture shined better than the recreated picture. It lacked the intensity especially in the eyes and use of facial muscles. The clothing looks elaborate but it fades away in terms of being chic and fashionable. This for me is a good but not a great execution.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#3 (RAFEE) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments/critiques for FINALIST 3:

Whew! I did not recognized you. You almost blew me over the top. The make-up is superb! And your fashion sense was never in doubt. But, there is something amiss. The description of what you added as recycled materials made me think - plastic straw? Aluminum foil? I never thought that they can be recycled though. But you blended them well in your portrayal. Only, it has lessened the impact I wanted to see "green" in your entry. They seem to be a little way off with your glamorous outfit.

Highs: Simply gorgeous. Well thought of. I didn't even notice that you are wearing a newspaper. Good Job. I hope you will be consistent…

Lows: The eyes look a little dead to me. You have a beautiful eyes, show it!!! Avoid hiding your neck. I would love to see you next on a full body picture.

This picture is amazing from all angles starting from the concept picture up to the execution. The model made the cheap materials look chic and fashionable. I also love the subtle and yet glamorous pose and eye contact. You set the bar high.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#2 (RODGE) ENTRY COMMENTS

Here are the comments/critiques for FINALIST #2

Highs: Nice face. Nice make-up. If I were to just judge you on your face. You'll be at the top of my list.

Lows: What we're you thinking when you put a nasty bag on your head? I doesn't work for me and to the theme for this week. It's not even fashion.

This is a very weak concept starting from the concept picture up to the actual execution. It was unimaginative and the item is not recyclable but more of a second hand accessory. One thing I appreciate is the way in which the model showed his eyes … and that made a slight difference and impact.

Hmm, surprisingly, very creative. Your depiction is strange. A macho Red Riding Hood! And very macho with the ropes. The red motif has overpowered you but you matched this with your very expressive eyes. Was that a leather hood? I was looking for a theme to go green but I didn’t see it.

Or was that so subtle that I cannot even detect it? Were it not for your creative rendering following the inspiration derived from the photo you sent, I would not have seen the theme at all. You really have the eyes. And that was your advantage.

ROUND 1 FINALIST#1 (ONI) ENTRY comments

Here are the comments / critiques for FINALIST 1:

Highs: The way he looks at the camera is enough to get an attention.

Lows: It looks ordinary to me. Nothing special. His facial expression lacks that factor to be considered as fierce.

The black and white motif was one that impressed me the most. some misgivings. I do not know if it is the strength or the weakness, but the dim intensity of the background made me ambivalent. As to the theme, there can be no doubt you stuck to it, but honestly I do not see the model, but rather a silhouette. Safe, so far. The black and white motif saved the day for you.

I prefer looking at the concept picture rather than the recreation. The original pic oozes a lot of sex appeal w/c is not present in the recreated picture. The face and eyes are dead and I see a very predictable recycled clothing. This will not create a good first impression.

________________

Finalist Number 10 was eliminated in the First Round.

The Last Model Standing

2008-08-05T09:28:00.003+08:00

"the judges"

"the finalist"

G4M's "General Chat" Forum in cooperation with Glamworx Productions

welcome you to the G4M - Last Model Standing Cycle 2 Competition Mechanics

G4M - LAST MODEL STANDING
Cycle 2 Mechanics

The mechanics of the competition proper are as follows:

1. Every week, the contestants will submit a photo of themselves based on the weekly theme. The deadline for the pic to be e-mailed to the contest coordinator is Saturday night, 9:00 PM. No pic merits automatic elimination. The e-mail addresses are glamworxproductions@gmail.com

The theme for the following week will also be announced every Saturday.

2. The judges' comments on the submitted photos will be posted in the blog and in the thread. Votes, however, will be submitted to the contest coordinator through either private messaging or e-mail. The judges will choose who they want to be the Model of the Week, as well as who they want to eliminate.

The judges must submit a 1st choice and a 2nd choice. Results will be primarily based on the 1st choice. The 2nd choice will only be used if a tie-breaker is needed.

In cases of a tie, the 1st choice will count for 2 points and the 2nd choice will count for 1 point, and the contestant with the most points will either be the Model of the Week or the eliminated contestant, as appropriate.

The deadline for voting is Sunday night, 9:00 PM. We're implementing a 2-strikes-you're-out rule. If you do not submit either your critique or your vote for any 2 of the rounds, you will be eliminated as a judge.

3. The contest coordinator will announce the Model of the Week as well as who is eliminated in a new thread, latest Sunday night 11:00 PM. A new thread will also be created for the new round.

_______

Yes, I am one of the finalist in this Cycle.

_______

for more details please log on to:

or

www.g4m-lms.blogspot.com

Invisible

2008-07-21T13:21:00.002+08:00

invisible

I am Invisible

you are invisible

and you were here.

___________________

The Photos are taken by JT
Edited by Vids Coheim

Two of the Most Beautiful Minds Ive Met.
Thanks Guys!

What do you think?

Luna

2008-07-21T09:32:00.001+08:00

i've always had a certain degree of fascination with the moon. it's the embodiment of change perpetual with its face waxing and waning constantly each and every month. and it's never so ubiquitous when full. a bright disc in a backdrop of deep black, a full moon illuminates, its halo of light radiating towards a darken earth below. maybe it's these astrophysical attributes of the full moon that lend themselves so easily to its more unsubstantiated metaphysical aesthetics. some people believe that the time of a full moon is something magical as all things possible - both good and bad - are more likely to happen. i think i'm open to believing that now.

one night, feeling very sorry for myself, i saw a waning full moon suspended in the dark sky. having nothing else to lose - not even my ever-present lucidity - i made a wish to that celestial orb, an act that i've not been wont to do before. i asked for strength, for happiness and for someone special to come into my life. maybe it was done out of desperation, maybe for hope. whatever case, it was done in the moment and one forgotten just as quickly.

as i made my way home early saturday morning from an *amazing night out, that familiar sight was again in the sky. partly obstructed by clouds, it raced alongside the cab as i riding on. and looking up, staring uninterrupted into that white, bright orb did i remember the wishes made from the month before.since then i've found strength and happiness - a fact certainly obvious to regular readers of this blog and most especially to my family and friends - though i thought the last one still eluded me. but as i recounted the events of the previous nite in my head, perhaps i had been granted that wish as well.

kisses were exchanged, sentiments shared and even hands were held. the venue and time may have been the same to that of the month before, the circumstances somewhat similar, but the feeling is completely different. there's a positive, open vibe to this. although cautious about getting ahead of myself, i sat there a little while longer, just staring and thinking. when i finally made my way inside, i found myself smiling.

I got my ring back. I have found my new strength.

the moon have heard me well.

The Shower Room

2008-07-09T12:30:00.000+08:00

"Are you alright sweetheart?” Jeremy asked, jogging over to the bathroom.

“Were you busy?”

“Just trying to throw together some lunch, nothing that couldn’t wait.” He sat on the edge of the bathtub. “Is there something wrong?”

“No, I was just…” Yan let his voice trail off into silence. The truth was that he just wanted to get Jeremy into the room but he hadn’t gotten as far as to think of an excuse. Perhaps he should have planned better.

Jeremy realized this fairly quickly and decided to play along. He grabbed the bright pink puffball Yan had hanging from the faucet and squeezed some soap on it.

“Here, I’ll wash your back,” he said, gesturing for Yan to turn a little.

“You just want an excuse to touch me.”

“Like that wasn’t your intent?”

Yan remained silent, realizing he was caught. Instead of replying he complied and was soon enjoying the feel of Jeremy carefully washing his skin.

“How are you feeling? You aren’t uh… bruised or anything are you?” Jeremy asked casually.

“I don’t know, maybe you should check.”

Jeremy groaned. “Yan that was weak, even for you.”

“Hey, I had a bad day!” Yan said with a pout. “Cut me some slack, alright?”

Jeremy laughed decided once again to play along. He set down the puffball and reached under the water. Yan tensed as Jeremy’s hand found what it was looking for and squeezed gently, eased up and squeezed again. Jeremy leaned in towards his ear.

“How does that feel?”

Yan opened his mouth but failed to answer. He tried again. “Good, that’s good. No pain there.”

“I’m glad.”

Of course Jeremy didn’t stop, he had no intention of stopping. In fact it only took five minutes for him to be completely stripped and in the bathtub along with Yan. It was a tight fit but they managed with Jeremy sitting behind Yan and Yan leaning back against Jeremy’s chest. It was sexual, but also quite romantic and cozy.

“I really was concerned you might be bruised or something,” Jeremy said, running a soapy hand over Yan’s bare shoulder.

“Thank you. I’ll be okay, nothing that a little vigorous exercise won’t fix.”

“I see.”

“That is, if you’re okay with that idea.”

Jeremy answered with his actions, reaching down and once again wrapping his hand around Yan’s penis. He started stroking gently, doing just enough to get Yan going before he would stop to tease him in other ways. Once again he had Yan completely at his mercy and God that was a wonderful feeling.

“So you’re for it then?” Yan said through labored breathing.

Jeremy kissed Yan’s temple. “Yes.”

“I’m nervous.”

“Huh?” The sudden revelation caused Jeremy to stop his movement and crane his neck to look into Yan’s eyes. “You’re nervous?”

“Yeah. I know it’s stupid, I mean this is hardly my first time but I’m… nervous for some reason.”

Jeremy smiled. “Yan there’s a lot about your sexual past that I don’t know and I’m fine with that, but given what you’ve told me… I’d say this will be your first time.”

“I hope you’re going somewhere deep and meaningful with this because otherwise you’re just going nuts. Jeremy I’ve been with a lot of-“

Jeremy put his finger to Yan’s lips to silence him. “You can make fun of me if you like, call me cheesy, a hopeless romantic or whatever but I believe this will be the first time anyone has ever made love to you. There is a different sweetheart, and this is why it was so important to me that we wait. That night at the club if I had gone back here with you it would have just been sex. Yes I started falling for you the moment you came to talk to me but I wasn’t there yet, I wasn’t head over heels in love like I am now. Now it’s different.”

Yan didn’t know what to say. Jeremy was right of course, he’d had more sex than most people he knew put together but there wasn’t much in the way of emotion to go along with it.

“I’ve always been so confident,” Yan said quietly. “I guess you’re the first guy to ever really know me.”

“And I consider it a privilege.”

Yan smiled. “Come on, let’s get out of the tub.”

He stood and climbed out, Jeremy following close behind. Before Yan could even grab a towel Jeremy had him in his arms and the two were engaged in a very deep kiss. The fact that they were dripping wet never even crossed their minds as they awkwardly made their way to the bed without breaking their connection.

Once they reached the bed Yan broke away in order to lie back on the mattress. Jeremy watched from the bedside, mesmerized by what he viewed as complete perfection. Yan’s pale skin contrasted sharply against the deep purple bedding and the pink of his flushed cheeks gave him an almost innocent appearance. Jeremy stared, knowing the attention was making Yan nervous but not caring. No matter how many times he had seen Yan naked and no matter how many times he would see him naked in the future he would never be seeing him like this again, no one would. This was his alone.

“Jeremy?”

Jeremy smiled at him and joined him in the bed, kissing him immediately. He only briefly lingered on Yan’s mouth however, instead choosing to begin his kisses at Yan’s collar bone and work his way down. He mixed his kisses with gentle bites, tugging just enough at Yan’s flesh to make his breath and heart rate quicken.

“Touch me,” Yan whispered in a pleading tone.

Jeremy shook his head. “Not yet.”

Ignoring the impatient whimpers that soon followed Jeremy continued his path, kissing down Yan’s chest. He chose to ignore the erect nipples that seemed to beg for contact, and once again he heard Yan protest.

“Jeremy!”

“Patience sweetheart,” Jeremy said with a grin.

Yan of course didn’t want to be patient and was going to fight being forced to if possible. What he didn’t realize was that his insistent pleas only fueled Jeremy’s teasing, prolonging the delicious agony.

Jeremy trailed kisses down Yan’s stomach and hips leaving tiny red marks behind as he went and driving Yan completely crazy. He couldn’t understand why Jeremy was purposely avoiding the areas he wanted to be touched most and the frustration was only continuing to grow. Jeremy of course knew exactly what he was doing.

Still ignoring Yan’s whimpers and pleas Jeremy ran his tongue down the inside of one of his thighs. He was almost ready to take things further but he was having a great deal of fun teasing the young man first.

He repositioned himself so that he was between Yan’s legs which he had spread lightly. The erection that was practically screaming for attention awaited him, the small bead of clear fluid calling to be lapped up. Even Jeremy couldn’t resist that kind of plea and soon his mouth was engulfing Yan’s penis. He bobbed his head up and down, holding onto Yan’s hips and urging him to join his rhythm. Yan was eager to oblige, bucking upwards to meet Jeremy’s mouth, abandoning any sense of pride as he tried so desperately to reach his orgasm. He didn’t want to stop, he didn’t think he could stand Jeremy teasing him anymore. Suddenly none of his other lovers had mattered and he was back in his teenage years, young and inexperienced, thinking only of stopping the throbbing sensation in his groin. When he hit the back of Jeremy’s throat he grabbed onto the blanket, ready to come at any second. Thankfully Jeremy didn’t slow down.

“Jeremy,” Yan gasped, the only sound he could make before exploding into his lovers mouth.

Jeremy continued his motion, slowing but not stopping until he was sure that he had milked every last bit of fluid from Yan’s aching penis. When he knew that there was nothing left to give Jeremy lifted his head, licking his lips as he had done before in the hotel room. He then smiled and bent back down, placing the tiniest of kisses on Yan’s skin.

“Are you ready?” he asked without looking up.

It took Yan two tries before he could actually say “yes” and he pointed to the nightstand next to the bed. Jeremy knew exactly what he was getting at and retrieved the lube from the drawer.

“Should I…” Yan breathed, making a motion with his hands that Jeremy could only assume meant “turn around”.

“No sweetheart, this is special, I want to be able to see you.”

Yan nodded and closed his eyes as Jeremy spread the lubricant on his own erection. He then squeezed some onto his index finger and reached between Yan’s thighs, entering him for further lubrication. Yan opened his eyes to see Jeremy grabbing an extra pillow and raised his hips without a word allowing the pillow to be placed beneath him.

“I love you,” Jeremy whispered, staring into Yan’s eyes.

Yan smiled. “I love you t-“

Before the words could even finish leaving his mouth he felt Jeremy enter him, and it became apparent just how long it had been since he had actually had sex. It wasn’t terribly painful but it was something he wasn’t used to.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy asked tenderly.

Yan nodded. “Keep going. You can’t stop now.”

That was all Jeremy needed to hear before he began his thrusts, slowly at first but soon picking up speed. Yan was beautiful beneath him, losing himself in his own ecstasy and not holding anything back. He cried out, raked his nails down Jeremy’s back and as he lost himself to his second orgasm he screamed loudly enough that he the neighbors were sure to hear. The sound alone was enough to push Jeremy over the edge and he soon poured himself into Yan’s warm body, spilling over onto the blanket beneath them.

Neither of them spoke afterwards, Jeremy simply withdrew his softened penis and laid down next to Yan on the bed, coaxing the young man into his arms. They both knew that if they didn’t go clean up now it was going to be hell to take care of later but neither cared. They were satisfied, they were tired and they wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in each other’s arms, so that’s what they did.

______________

Acknowledgment:

Thanks to a dear friend - Mr. Jay Plogman for the beautiful photos.
Guys, if you can catch Jay and his masterpiece at http://jplogman.multiply.com/

Photography for a Cause

2008-07-07T15:35:00.003+08:00

I was doing my rounds of daily (b)read when i saw a post of tiggah about pooh modeling for a 2009 calendar of Asian Men Redefined. There was no available photos of pooh in tiggah's site referring to calendar thingy. So motivated by curiosity search google for the said calendar. (Yes! I wanna see how sexy pooh was in the calendar photo.) But strike me about the producer/photographer of Asian Men Redefined.(I just came to know about it from this Tiggah's site). It was for a cause and damn good cause. After scanning the site I feel somehow obliged to ran a campaign (advertisement?) for this project and its cause.

Asian Men Redefined is produced by Dannydan Photography (www.dannydanphoto.com) as a charity cause for Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center (www.apiwellness.org). All of the work involved are mainly volunteer effort, either by the photographer, models, crews, and everyone else who help this cause. The 2007 Calendar was the first calendar that was produced in September 2006. The 2007 Calendar has given $1,588.00, which is half of the calendar profit, to Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center on May 19th, 2007 at the Banyan Tree event at Metreon, San Francisco. The 2009 Calendar now follows its predecessor and now available for purchase through online and retail stores.

The Beneficiary: Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center

Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center (A&PI Wellness Center) is the oldest non-profit HIV/AIDS services organization in North America targeting Asian & Pacific Islander (A&PI) communities.To meet the needs of our clients who are often immigrants orrefugees, A&PI Wellness Center's staff speak many Asian languages including: Cantonese, Hawaiian, Hindi, Ilokano, Japanese, Malay, Mandarin, Tagalog, Vietnamese and Visayan.

A&PI Wellness Center's HIV Care Services provides free andconfidential HIV treatment case management, mental health and substance abuse counseling, on-site primary medical andpsychiatric care, client and treatment advocacy, and group andindividual support to A&PIs living with HIV/AIDS.Our HIV/STD Prevention Services reaches youth (straight, queer and questioning), gay and bisexual men, transgender persons through community organizing and outreach, workshops andsupport groups, peer counseling, and prevention casemanagement.

We offer HIV/STD/Hepatitis testing, social marketing and health promotion campaigns, community events, internships, andvolunteer opportunities.

The Community Development & External Affairs (CDEA) builds HIV prevention capacity in A&PI organizations and communities throughout the United States and its Pacific Territories; conducts community-based research; and trains non-medical serviceproviders in HIV treatment throughout California.For more info about Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center, please visit www.apiwellness.org.

The Photographer: Dannydan

Dannydan’s interest in photography began in college where he took photography courses while studying Molecular Biology in University of Wisconsin, Madison. After relocating to San Francisco in 2000, he worked for a scientific publishing company while continuing to photograph primarily Fine Art, both in black and white and color. After doing several gigs for an event planner, he started Event Photography. His work quickly led him to editorial work where he has chalked up an exciting portfolio; including a spread for Noodle magazine, advertising campaigns for Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center, and numerous local and national advertisements. He now lives in San Francisco where he continues to work in Event & Wedding Photography. You can see more examples of his fabulous work at his website www.dannydanphoto.com..

Note:

Pooh is the Guy featured on March.

The FirstG* Spot Weblog Award

2008-07-04T09:51:00.004+08:00

I know this is a exaggeratedly long overdue
but nevertheless the final resolution must be met to begin anew.

So without no further clog, allow me to present to all of you the eleven best blogs of the G* Spot Weblog Award

So Cast in your Votes for this month long race to the Top!

Because there can be ONLY ONE G* SPOT WEBLOG WINNER!

May the Best Blog Win!
(ei, you are all winner to my book already)

Cheers to Peace and Love!

Luhaang Langit

2008-07-03T16:02:00.000+08:00

you were to touch the weeping sky;
ascending to the clouds
like a raindrop rising back to its creator
floating in free space
majestic solace emanates

a shining star in the paleness of the world;
you rose up slowly in search of sorrow
you rose up slowly in search of gray clouds
you rose up slowly to break the pain

a brush of your delicate hand stops the bleeding of thousands
air remains wispy whilst you glide in gently
the connection of a fingertip sends ripples asunder
as the gray clouds rip apart in serene obliteration

you have created a path for the tears to fall again
tears of sunlight fall down to earth;
rays darting down in bursts of sprints

there is hope in the world again.

shackled

2008-06-17T08:45:00.000+08:00

How could I let you fuck with my head
And destroy the confidence I once had
They say love is blind, is it also stupid
I lost myself when you stabbed me
With a stolen arrow of Cupid’s

All those years of giving in
When I should have been assertive
You never compromised on anything
And slowly decided you didn’t respect me

I made mistakes along the way I know
But sincerely apologized for each and every one
You never forgave, instead letting your bitterness grow
And reminded me often of the hurt I had done

Eventually my unhappiness and your bitterness collided full force
We finally had the fight when you broke my heart
You said, “I don’t love you anymore”, without remorse
Our lives were shattered, we had grown apart

I hung on, clung to that last remaining hope
That somehow, someway we could regain what was lost
The thread finally snapped, I could no longer cope
What once had been everything was no longer worth the cost

On you I cannot place all the blame
Our love a blend of two white hot flames
You choked mine out with too much air
I smothered yours with more material
Than you could bear

Your siege of my heart is at an end
I’ve vanquished your lies so that I can mend
Out of this hell I will climb
Eyes burn again seeing bright sunshine

Denial is everyone’s first reaction
But life’s constant change compels you to realize
Hiding only delays the satisfaction
Of accepting the loss and greeting the new sunrise

Now the years of misery are slowly peeling back
Revealing below only the shell of a man
My identity methodically erased by your attacks
Security within must be built again

In digging deep, there’s abundant inner strength
A steely, yet gentle raging fire beneath
That place you discover in life’s varied extremes
A tiny fortress inside
Sheltering your hopes and dreams…

That tiny fortress door has opened
The brilliant inner strength has broken
Through the lies and deceit that once held me captive
Confidence is returning, I will flourish and live
Perhaps someday my heart again to give…

resurgere

2008-06-11T08:54:00.003+08:00

I am one of the coldest people,
you have ever known.
There is no right or reason,
but my heart is submerged,
black and cold.
It has never melted,
this obsidian ice will remain thick and strong,
Until you take that heart -
in your warm hands.

Bring me back to the daylight hours,
the light that shines all day,
intensify it, so that
even when it's dark out,
the brightness will still stay.

You were the one that looked past all my flaws.
You reached into my ribs and held on tight until you felt a beat.
You pulled my beating soul,
from the dark waters,
to the surface.

It was not easy, I'm sorry I made it so hard.
I put up that thick wall,
because despite my luck, I was, am, insecure.
I'm too self-concious, and in so many ways, self-centered.
So I lashed out,
it's a wonder you figured what I'm about.
You are brilliant, my darling,
I probably don't deserve you,
I am in terror, or ever hurting
YOU.
My friend, my wonderful friend,
my warm lover...

As I look out at the horizon,
I see the desert stretching out,
dusk is falling over the black silhouettes of hills,
the sky shines yellow orange and,
the coffin of ice melts,
the warmth through the earth hasn't been the thing to free me.
It was YOU.
You were the sun, the stars burning bright into this coffin,
and soon the ice is water,
and I
fall into your...
warm hands.

Bring me back to the daylight hours,
the light that shines all day.
You were the one that,
looked past all of my flaws.
Accepted them, understood them,
and understood that
I really was, am, trying hard to fix them,
not to hurt others anymore,
to become something,
something more.

You reached into the ice cold black waters,
swirling in my ribs, freezing your hands,
and held on tight until you felt the resurge,
the shaky beat, becoming stronger,
you pulled my soul,
the best part of me,
to the surface,
to show the others
what it was
they didn't see.

You were the one,
that saw through to.
The real one,
the real me.

Sweet Surrender

2008-05-26T14:46:00.003+08:00

If there was one thing in this world that Roy was physically incapable of doing, it was losing.

Whether it was on a battlefield, in an arguement, or over who gets the last cookie, Roy could not lose. His painfully stubborn pride made it PHYSICALLY impossible for him to let something go.

And so Roy sat, on his normal sofa, with his legs crossed. For once, his back was to the fire, and his eyes were focused on the boy that sat across from him. Marth sat at the other side of the room, arms crossed as stoiclly as ever. Their eyes were locked. There was dead silence in the room.

They had been simply staring at each other for twenty minutes now.

Not a word had been spoken. Roy had been merrily sticking by the fire, warming his hands as per usual on its heat, and talking animatedly with Mesai. Her side of the conversation though, had dimmed with a cheerful greeting of 'Hey, Princess!'

Every muscle in Roy's body tensed. And apparently this was noticed, as the Prince himself didn't say a word, his eyes simply burning into the redhead's back. So Roy turned around, looking evenly back at him. He gave no greeting, but their eyes met, and turned into a battle.

This own little mini-fight of wills of sort tired Mesai. After five minutes of trying to make conversation, she realized neither was listening to her and left. Ten minutes into the battle, Marth moved away from the doorway, making himself comfortable. Fifteen minutes into the battle, they realized that this may take a while.

And only five minutes later, Roy was beginning to find his non-existant patience running horribly thin.

His eyes creased into a glare, doubling in there intensity. The Prince's gaze was unfaltered. He opened his mouth to speak - before quickly shutting it. No, he couldn't lose. Not when he wasn't even sure what he was fighting.

He wasn't sure how long they watched each other, either, but it went on for what felt like hours. No one, no matter how stubborn, can hold up a glare for that long. Both of their frowns soon dissapeared and they were both reduced to just watching each other peacefully.

Of course, Roy was screaming in anxiety internally. For whatever battle he was fighting, he has somehow had many casualties, and couldn't hold up for much longer. Not when he could feel his defenses crumbling, oh-so quickly.

He let out an irritated breath, the first noise from one of them since Marth entered the room.

Marth raised a single, smooth eyebrow.

And somehow, such a simple action was such a fatal blow.

Roy sucked a breath in as if wounded. He stood up, walking calmly across the room. Marth rose in return, arms still crossed and looking at him cooly. Roy stared at him evenly. And then he gave his final bow by reaching up and planting his lips on the bluenette's.

For half a second, Roy's heart jumped into his throat, as his fear and pride was put on the line.

The bluenette's arms wrapped around him, and his mouth moved against his in return.

And Roy knew that even if he had surrended, he hadn't lost.

____________________

Note:

Something for a friend.

Catch Me

2008-05-23T10:15:00.000+08:00

It's almost 12:15 in the afternoon and I'm thinking about the hurt another caused me.

He didn't do it on purpose, but why?

Why did he go from me to something less?

He's hurting me. I will never let my heart got to another.

I am afraid of being hurt again. How will I know another won't do the same?

I once gave my heart to one and he abused it.

I gave my heart again hoping that it wouldn't be taken for granted, but I was wrong.

Now I'm full of paranoia and I can't trust hardly anyone.

There is only one that I trust and I trust he won't do to me what the other's have done.

He won't cause me grief or anguish.
He would never give me hope of despair and unwantedness.

He will be there to catch me when I fall.

The others would watch me fall, hold their hand out to me and then take it back and laugh.

I asked them please and they said no I won't.

I just hope they know I will still love them and understand, but i will never forgive them for their treachery.

I know they will do it to others like me, but who is to say they will understand or even love you.

I hope your other relationships work, but eventually one will do the same to you as you did upon me.

When they do, don't even bother to call out my name cause I will say no I won't.

You will reap what you sow and I...

Will move on...

Past the pasts' treachery.

_______________

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS KEEPING ME BUSY?

Capricious

2008-04-29T12:51:00.005+08:00

Like a rush of sugar to the brain
The emotion streams in happy waves
Through my soul to my heart
Till it sings, high as birds, in its own melody
A mellow flow of tranquillity and love.
The sun is so light, beaming abouve
The clouds like warm soft embraces
I look upon them in admiration
Of an unbroken world of promise

Then slowly I feel it seep away
Like the draining of a sieve
Leaving only dregs of what was there
Memory of joy I cling to fondly
The sky dulls to a grey shell
Of what it was to me before
And even promise seems broken
Lost in the change of time

And finally a cloud gradually
Mysteriously materialises and closes
In on me thick and full of something
Moments previously not even dreams
Could picture dawning.
Black clogging, choking, dragging
Out soul from within as every breath
I breathe it intensifies
Leaving me cold to the world

The sun is too bright, too cheerful
The clouds are mocking and mean
There is no promise, no love, no hope
In the dark world.
Communication becomes a waste of time
When I could be doing nothing
In the place of idle trivial chat
A void now cut deep in my soul
Poisoned by shadows of emotion
Blinding me with dark nothingness

But it isn’t final, it isn’t over
On an endless loop it repeats
Just as easily as it appeared
The cloud fades and dissolves
And the warm waves begin
To wash over me once more
Flooding, filling me with peace
Only to be replaced again
Unpredictable, undeniable,
Unnoticeable, unavoidable
Real.

_________________

I really dont get it. I am getting too many mood swing lately. The capricious feelings is at times taking the best of me. Only if I can determine the very reason I am getting roller coaster emotions. Sigh.

Sweet Temptation

2008-04-15T09:18:00.004+08:00

*Acknowledgement to the owner of the photo.

The Emancipation

2008-04-02T12:57:00.004+08:00

"At This Moment, I Am Free."

At this moment I am free. I am utterly emancipated from all facets of obligation, mandates, or responsibilities. At this moment I exist as the reconciled chaos, as the believed dharma, and as the arid desert of an infinitely mundane consciousness. I’d relish the opportunity to insinuate my abhorrence for the situation, but that would apply it pertinence, and apply me emotion. And to fathom… this is a moment, an attribute of a perpetual fluctuating eternity, and the only thing keeping me in it is the tantalizing facets of the subconscious.

People, like parasites flourish inscrutably. Perpetually propagating lacking coherent logic as to what their putrid life is. And those who do ratify the intricate existence they possess, a dismissal system embedded in their mind alleviates it because its a "negative" thought. And this is due to its potent nature of ceasing people from their cycle. In fact there are those who seek to attain that resolution. They cherish the moment where they ignorantly infer they are irrelevant, and "life’s not worth living." I think the answer to that comment or in some situations question would be, "No, your not worth living life."

There is exuberance in deducing eternal nothingness, and redundancy it induces horror. This horror is then converted into an emotion to be unconsciously embraced and there you go. Back to the start, your putrid perpetual drone is once again manipulating all the insoluble facets of life to befit his emotion, to imbue him to complete his oblivious propagation now that he’s acquired an assisting emotion. We exist as momentary emotions. All associates ambient to you, all friends are merely attributes of your own emotional application. They are external phenomenon’s much like yourself, though they are subjectively interpreted to befit your emotional designation. For example, If Jane has a repugnant face, chances are she has a sincere propitious personality to you. If Joe is arrogantly hansom, then he has a repulsive attitude. Depending on the objective and temperament of the one discerning, the associates conform. Though the fundamental foundation they conform too, despite our subjective manipulated interpretations, is emotions.

One of the facets I use to validate my contempt for humanity as being a disease is that they require not the association with humanity beyond logic at a certain moment. As all creatures implemented on this earth they proceed through stages. Some are very obscure developing stages, like the crocodile. Some are almost parallel to our own, such as the lion. And thus the human exists in this process as well, but the befuddling aspect of the human is that certain moments of its development induce a state of satisfaction, thus it suffices not to ensue.

The human is bestowed the abstract mind, the immaculate logic, and the inscrutably succinct reason. Lacking these attributes the human is equivalent to the animals, simplistically responding to emotional responses that it is oblivious to. And its mandate to propagate the race to barbarically preserve a family and or race they are only correlated to by fear, or stupidity. This is the human lacking those fundamental aspects of abstract, logic and reason. And the repugnant, the so atrocious, the so bewilderingly disgruntling deduction I arrive at is these parasites intentionally reside at these states of underdevelopment. They unconsciously choose to remain primitive, rambunctious and barbaric. And so you say to your self, indeed remain ignorant with your imprudent emotions, and acrid unconscious burdensome desires. Though that itself ratifies the disease they are, capable of ascending though remaining primitive and mentally underdeveloped. And thus contentions ensue, caused by their emotional states of being, and inability to avert what shouldn’t exist. Just like the lion growing up and still-hunting with its decaying mother. The lion could only sustain its existence at this point by sacrificing its means to be better for the worse of both entities. Not only is the lion delaying the nature of its mothers demise, but also the lion now lacks the ability to thrive for its own being as well. And the only thing that keeps the human lacking its truth or reconciliation of existence by means of cognition or abstract mind is emotion.

And it is these emotions we praise. It is our merit sorrow and wrath. Our friends are attributes of this existence as momentary emotions. And how ironic is it that our life’s mandate is to ascertain just those emotions that allow us to infer “pointlessness of our lives” as the ignorant so much abhor. The emotion is a fluctuating aspect of ones inner conscious that parades itself so inconclusively and inexplicable that each parasite on this so bewildering earth latches onto for the security of there own impudence.

All conflict, all contention all future problem and whoa is fucking me, is the cause of our intentional degradation, and satisfaction with not knowing, even though we so simplistically could. These boisterous human creatures require that moment of liberating liability, they need to have that brief elated moment to surmise there lives are impertinent. Because that moment only empowers there putrid thrive to enforce their emotions to emancipate themselves from the “horror” that only exists for pity. Its comical just the utter truth we desire to dismay when reading articles such as this. As though humanities obliged to acquire some scientific consensus of some elaborate truth no one believes. The primitive humans even then secure themselves with a concept they still fail to grasp. “Ah yes, science can answer my disgusting existence!”

But nonetheless this is my subjective interpretation that pertains its existence only coincided with me. This is a concept and a perspective bequeathed out of the sheer will I have to exert, just to ratify my own freedom.

_____________

I Am BACK. And it Feels So Fucking GOOD to be BAck!

To Everyone, Please accept my sincerest apologies for my absences and lapses.

Pillows

2008-03-31T16:50:00.002+08:00

Sometimes mountains seem to crumble over night.
And we are often pushed to the limit with no more will to fight.
We cry ourselves to sleep because of the memories of the past.
And its a striking realization when pillows don't hug back.

I've traveled a long hard way on a beaten worn down road.
I've often felt abandoned and betrayed in facing the great unknown.
But I've come a long way from the gray place in which I used to be.
But I've had my own trials and am often brought crashing down to my knees.

I've had my pride torn down and my self-asteem ripped apart.
Can you even find my heart among all of the pieces and broken shards?
This is the place where I admit I am not everything I thought I knew.
So here is the weight on my shoulders that I offer you as truth.

Sometimes songs fade to black and disappear into the night.
With angels weaping at a lost world with their golden wings as they take flight.
Lost in a sea of empty feelings that surround our pasts.
And its a striking realization when pillows don't hug back.

[Un] Loved

2008-03-13T12:29:00.000+08:00

I look into you hollow blue eyes
And feel my heart being ripped apart
I know now that I am unloved
Not by not by anyone

I am alone and there is no one here to catch my fall
I hit solid ground, with no support
I am unloved
And left alone

I am a contaminated being
My living creates suffering around others
They always seem to leave me
I am unloved

I am held in your empty arms
Knowing you have no feelings
Knowing that this will lead me no where
Because I am Unloved
Not by you not by anyone

Your kiss upon my mouth holds nothing but disgust
You remember not the feelings I poured into you
But the anger you felt
I through myself upon you
Hoping, praying that you will catch me
But you don’t
Since I am unloved

Alone in this world
No where to turn
Nowhere to run
I am Unloved
Not by you not by anyone

____________

The post photo is my newest.

The Shadow

2008-03-04T12:45:00.000+08:00

I let my breath flow from my still form.
Captured in a carnal embrace,
So cold it runs shivers up my curved spine.
Soft flesh of my chest and arms,
Caressed by the shadows I can not distinguish.
The allure of this discreet devil,
Is that he's a gentleman.
Kisses of frost dip down my neck,
The chilly lick around my navel.
His romance was my delight,
His touch was my freedom.
Arched into his embrace
Shivers racing
Their slender fingers along my sides.
I am slave
To The Shadows Touch.

[Un] Masked

2008-03-04T12:23:00.001+08:00

And tell me how you feel when you take off your mask?

Empty?

Alone?

Unloved?

Why?

Cause you wear a mask around them

But when you're alone the masks falls off and you're on your own.

This is to all the people.
To my friends, to my family, to me...
We should stop being puppets in the hands of society.
Just be what you are...

They say learning to love yourself
Is the first step
That you take when you want to be real
Flying on planes to exotic locations
Won't teach you
How you really feel
Face up to the fact
That you are who you are
Nothing can change that belief
Just be

[Un] burdened

2008-02-19T08:28:00.002+08:00

Unburdened

This heart will not be
Tempted by your treacherous love

Unshadowed

This heart will not be
Submerged in your untrue light

Unscathed

This heart does not go
Lightly and unsoiled from your despair

Uncompassionate

This heart leans toward
The righteous anger that sets it free

There is no room for you
This life, this heart,
This man
Turns away
Condemns you
Casts his demons,
Born at your betrayal,
Back to their makers feet.

You cannot have this heart
You cannot have my love
My trust
Me

I dissolve what once was
Us

Where Does One Begin to End?

2008-02-01T16:25:00.000+08:00

those thoughts in my head do a sort of endless pirouette.
those emotions in my heart clamber onto a carousel.
those beliefs in my soul flutter as butterflies might.

no.

but the pirouettes slow down.
but the carousel breaks.
but those butterflies tremble.

so.

fervor without fire.
romance without credence.
promise without excuses.

and.

is hope itself tangible? lest I taint it by touch.
is love itself possible? lest I cease to dream.
is truth itself within? lest I lie to myself.

well.

where does one begin to end?

Immortalis

2008-01-22T13:50:00.000+08:00

I just recently open an account at G4M.com, so for those of you have an account there - please do say "hi," and for those who still dont own one, why dont you click thi slinkn and register:

Also, i have decided to activate once more my picturetrail account
check this one out:

CAIRO

Two Albums though are locked.
Password?
Try to Flirt with your Brain and crack this Anagram:

"Immoral Sit"

unchained

2008-01-18T08:36:00.000+08:00

"help me survive."

Demons rip my heart out and cast me away,
For I have no time for you, there are dues to be paid.
I no longer want to be part of your game,
I want to be free of this lie you framed,
I don’t want to think I’m worthless,
I don’t want to think I deserve to die,
Even if it was the truth,
I don’t want to be sad inside.

I want to live,
I want to dream,
I want nothing to be, as it seems.
I want to be free of depression,
I want to be free of damnation,
I want my blood to run cold,

And my heart to be sold,
And live a life of determination.
Then I would no longer have to feel,
I would no longer be that broken toy,
That nobody thinks about,
And just keeps passing by.
It’s too bad I sold my soul to the shadows,
Because eventually they set me free,
But now that my depression is over,
I have no heart to relove with,
And no blood left to bleed with,
I have no life to relive over.

________

PS.

Please bare with me. I am really going thru a lot these past few months.
First, work has been detaining ike hell and of course there alot of offline shit that has been bruising me.

The Only consolation i am getting over all these bruised and scar is that i have written a number of poems and essays that i will be publishing soon.

But I hope i survive this one before it finally knock me down.

Let my photo makes you feel what i feel now.

Lookin In

2007-12-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

LOOK AT ME

I am the aborted child; silenced before I found a voice
I am the pregnant teenager; who had no other choice
I am the high-schooler; gunned down before my prime
I am the homeless man; asking you to spare a dime
I am the fat kid in class; who never makes the team
I am a nation of outsiders; seeking one Philippine Dream

I am the poor girl in school; the one you love to tease
I am the old man in a home; forgotten, crippled by disease
I am the gay man; beaten; left to die on the street
I am the single parent; working 2 jobs to make ends meet
I am the hardworking man; just a little down on his luck
I’m the one you overlook; the one who won’t make the cut

I am the old woman; with cut benefits from Medicare
I am the suicidal teen; whose life was just too much to bear
I am the misguided youth; condemned to a life in a jail cell
I am the little six-year-old; praying to get out of this Hell
I am the heart of this country; the mix of Philippine’s melting pot
I am the starving kid on TV; that makes you realize just how much you’ve got

I am the mother who can’t feed her child when she cries
I am the promdi man you cannot look in the eyes
I am only what you want to see; for you never take a second glance
I could be so much more than that, but you’ll never give me the chance
All you see is the outside; you’ve decided what it is I should be
You judge this book by its cover; and never truly see me

Lezbo, Faggot, Pansy, Dyke;
All them people's just alike
Dego, Spic, Nigger, Chink;
They roll so quickly; no need to think
Geezer, Deadbeat, Lazy, Weak
Why can’t foreigners learn to speak
Degenerate, White-Trash, Wino, Whore
Spending welfare checks at the liquor store
Hate them, hate them, hate them ALL
They’re the cause of Philippine’s Fall

We cannot change the world today, the pain the hate the sorrow
The task is set upon us all to build today’s tomorrow
Will we finally end this fight, or will simply dance the dance
Will we offer an equal share, or deny our brothers their chance
Will we create a brave new world, or make the same mistakes
From here on in, it’ll be our fault for the form the future takes
No one else can carry us now, brothers, sisters, take my hand
We are the people we’ve been waiting for; Now’s our time to stand.

_______________

"People Works Overtime to Destroy this World. And I have realized how foolish to take an day off from doing my part."

I'm back.

I miss you all.

Merry Christmas Guys!

His Ryeness: Certified G* Spot Winner

2007-12-06T08:27:00.000+08:00

AlAS! I am free from my bondage!

Allow me... This Month's G* Spot Weblog of the Month is no other than the ever popular - Can't You read of Rye! Hooray!

How? here's how:

Simply Manila 25 votes
Beauty and the Bum 4 votes
Gibbs Cadiz 2 votes
Can't You Read 110 votes
Desert 69 29 votes
Lows, Highs, & Alibis 20 votes
Male and Beautiful 3 votes
Mr Manager 2 votes
The Geeky Guide 38 votes
BillCoy's Blasted Brain 2 votes

Can't You Read is a blog I personally read whenever I got the chance. Its witty writings have kept me addicted to it! So for all you who havent got the chance to check on Rye's Can't You read? I suggest you him a visit at www.ryeness.blogspot.com

So to Rye, Congratulation Man! Cheers!
You shall receive the winner's button at your email buddy!

A Vision of Death

2007-11-26T14:54:00.000+08:00

All of the sudden I feel I am stranded on a limbo. I feel there is so much going inside me and that I cant figure out how can I escape from the war growing within the houses in me. All of the sudden I seems to be not the same undaunted person I used to be. I feel weak every each passing day, like a vampire that haven’t quench his thirst for blood for days seemingly wanting yet depriving himself of the fresh kill to touch his lips.

ABSURD.

Absurdity have engulf me into a vortex of sheer insanity. Truly a manifestation of the war of the houses within me are growing. The unvisited are shouting, screaming, demanding for more.

ESCAPE.

How many times have He tried to escape the vicious swamp I have put him into but the dubious bars have kept him captive.

ILLUSIONS.

I have deluded myself for so long in fairytale and illusions that I will be save by a mantric thought. For century I have believe in a power so divine will save me amidst the mire.

TRAPPED.

He is becoming more restless. Demanding for freedom. Rebellion was in his faculty. Waiting for that moment to surge from the quiescent oblivion that kept him powerless.

DESPAIR.

Each drop is like gasoline. Feeding him with His collection of strength. Fueling him for his anticipated surge.

DEATH.

In my death, He will live.

Drowned

2007-11-20T02:38:00.000+08:00

I close my eyes,
take a deep breath.
Then just dive in.

The water is warm,
but my blood runs cold.

Thought of you fill my head with so much shame.
The water is shallow but i almost drown,
im scammbling for air.

I take a look around,
everything is blurry.
My heart bounds and my head aches.

why did you leave me like this?

Pain fills my soul.
I take one last breath and let myself drown.

Down at the bottom I feel no more pain.
Down at the bottom my thoughts all die, my mind is still.

No more missing you,
no more tears will fill these eyes.

This is my hell,
you are my temptation.
I slowly die.

Close the door and never let it open,
for i will no longer be on the other side.

My heart is forever dead.
My love is forever gone.

Silence fills the room,
and the darkness clouds my mind.
I fall into my hell.
No ones there to catch me.
Goodbye to those who loved me,
i am no longer me.

i lost myself in that pool.
as i drowned. im never going back.
A broken heart and a shattered soul.

kisses ill miss,
hugs ill never forget.
i loved you dear.

the darkness is over powering,
i turn that way, for there is no more light.

i wish you would hold me and never let go.
so i say again goodbye.
i loved you dear.
my the pain was to much.
take my hand and let me live.
or let go and let me drowned.

Simple Truth

2007-11-13T11:51:00.000+08:00

"Love Me, Hate Me, Free Me!"

It’s already hard enough not to believe you...
It’s already hard enough trying not to care about you...
It’s hard enough not to want to live in the crystal eyes you possess...
It’s hard enough not to want to fly with your wings made out fo ice...

It’s easy to understand that you wont come back to me...
It’s easy to understand that you wont give into me...
It’s simple enough to understand that there isn’t enough of you to give...
It’s simple enough to understand that those eyes are so sad rain runs down in your heart...

Why wont you come to me?
Why wont you fall into my arms?
Why is my love for you taboo?
Why is the crimson that I lose not enough?

Oh, sweet child that, looking into the dark night, wanders...
Oh, sweet lover that, lost in their mind dies...
Oh, sweet mother that, sees nothing but that which cannot be spoken of...
Oh, sweet father that, loves his daughter only as much as shallowness of his heart...

I love you, that gives me wings...
I hate you, that gives me joy...
I woo you, that gives me despair...
I kill you, that gives me freedom...

Drug that infects my mind, it takes a hold and wont let go,

like a babe clinging to its mothers breast...
Sorrow that infects my soul,

it burns so much the scar wont heal, like winter frost on a summer rose...
Love that infects my life, it’s so alive it wont go away,

like an ocean pouring on a fire...
You that infects my heart, not letting my choose my own path,

like a light that only goes in one direction...

Hold me...
Love me...
Let go of me...
Free me...

__________

The Photo: A Self Portrait.

Quote for the Day

2007-11-12T09:07:00.000+08:00

Who among you is wise and understanding?

Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition, do not lie against the truth.

This wisdom is not that which comes down from Above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.

But the wisdom from Above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.

And the seed whose fruit is righteousness, is sown in peace, by those who make peace.

(James 4:13-18)

*Thanks DA, you made my day.

Happy Monday Guys!

Love Is My Right

2007-11-09T16:18:00.000+08:00

..saw these over the net and I cant resist posting them here...

Free Me

2007-11-09T16:05:00.000+08:00

Lift me up and let me soar
On these wings of broken promises
let me leave your hollow soul behind
and let you rot for all eternity
lift me up and let me fly
on my wings of your broken promises
i was fragile and now im broken
yet you've cared nonetheless
now i must leave you and your carelessness
for my tears have fallen for far too long
so lift me up and let me soar
my life i have taken back
from these broken promies and little lies
they all hurt just the same
so lift me up and let me soar
i want to fly and be no longer tame
i want to fly on the wings you gave me
wings made of madness and sadness and everything you've done
so hear this now before we part, our paths lead different ways
so now ive gone on my wings of hate and know this simple rhyme
"For everything you've done, I've left and now I've won!"
I hope this rings in your head, so your always remember
this man you hurt has hurt you back and burned you to the kinder!

The G* Spot Finalist: November 2007

2007-11-06T09:19:00.001+08:00

Technically, this list of finalist is delayed by five days. Well the reviewers do have the right also to take their vacations too you know. c",)

So whether the five days delay will affect the outcome at the end of the month, we can only know that after twenty five days...

The Finalist for the G* Spot Weblog for the month orf November 2007 are:

To the Finalist, Congratulations! May the Best Blog Win!

Buttons Up

2007-11-06T08:43:00.000+08:00

These are overdue buttons... To Shaney and Daniel, please do accept my apologies for its delay.... Anyway, here it is:

Now for the October 2007 winner.

I often visit this blog not only because of its sensual and emotive photos but also because of beautiful writings that most of the times serves as the voice of its digital photography.

Asian Xhibit of Kit has serve as a continous inspiration not to mention the thirst quencher for this author's personal cravings for beautiful photography. Truly beautiful within its own right.

So to Kit, Congratulations Man! You well deserve this One! Kudos!

For you guys to have a better feel of what i talking about, please spend some time and take a dip at Kit's Asian Xhibit.

Silenced

2007-10-31T09:01:00.000+08:00

I am silent for the voices
of souls who cannot speak
for the perfect virgin blood
that with shame drained down the sink

I am silent for the bruises
of the countless innocent
those whose difference claimed them broken
whose dignity has all been spent

I am silent for the lovers
of every heart-claimed path
who can't see past the steel bars
when they fell victim to prejudice's wrath

I am silent for the forgers
of this golden history
who have given us a gift
of nearly being free

I am silent for the broken
those whose hearts beat another way
who need strength to stand and fight
when others insist they sway

I am silent for the union
for the real definition of the word
for marriage is for every victim
upon whom cupid's grip unfurled

So be silent for all the soldiers
and rejoice in what they've done
We stand together in perfect silence
for we have voices where some have none

___________

Happy Holloween Guys! It will be a long weekend for me - I deserve this rest, So I am leaving you a troika to read... Enjoy! Stay Blessed, Beautiful and Free!

Asian Candies: Funky Ryuki

2007-10-31T08:12:00.000+08:00

"Funky Ryuki"

PhYsIcAl FeAtUrEs:

Height: 172 cm

Chest Size: 30

Waist Line: 28

Shoe Size: 10

Complexion: Caramel White

"Sharp eyed, defined cheekbones and jawlines. Funky Hairstyles, brown hair sexy eyes and kissable lips this is what completes the spell of Ryuki!"

So Who Is Ryuki?

"hi... Im RyUki DaIgO KaMiKaWa..."

im a half JAPANESE and half FILIPINO...

i was born in HIROSHIMA JAPAN and was raised here in Philippines

...i was 3 years old when i came here in philippines(according to my mother)...i have 2 sisters namely ziehri and michiko...i have my nephew whos name is Shouhhei and im so proud of this kid becuase he is one of the cast of JU-ON THE GRUDGE (toshio the kid there)...

im living my life into the fullest...right now im busy with my career and studies...im into fame...as a matter of fact ive already done TV exposure...mall minor concerts...artist guesting...billboards...print ad endorsements...modelling...niway its not important just for you guys to know...ok...hehehe...

...nothing more nothing less. what you see is what you get...

frank, determined, aggressive, opinionated, and OC at times
But i like people who have loads of views about anything
they're the more interesting ones

...Naughty boy, cool…

I could be the nicest person you've ever met
The bitchiest person you'll ever meet
Or even, a complete asshole!

I could be seen as a lover, a player, or just a plain tease
Some would say I have everything laid out for me on a silver platter,
and that, I'm a spoiled bratt ...

"While others think that I'm the most generous person existing (waooo)
well It all depends on how you would like to perceive me
Im vain they call me supervain... "

Some of Ryuki's Endorsement as of 2007:

SELECTA ICECREAMS (at any 711 outlets)

BRATT HYPES (sm department stores)

PHILOSOPHY BOUTIQUE (SM Mall Of Asia 2nd floor)

OverSpeed

2007-10-31T08:02:00.000+08:00

Here is a story related to me by a friend....

It is really Hot I tell you... So Be sure no one is sharing your computer while you are reading this one..

Read On....

"freeze!"

__________________

It was about 10:30 PM on a Friday night. I was just on my way home from a party. I was really wasted and had to go to work early next morning. I decided to take a shortcut down an old dirt road I knew of so as not to get caught. The whole time I had been thinking of something that had happened at the party. Only about five minutes left til I get home, I thought. Right then, as if to snap me out of a dream, I heard a loud siren and those infamous, flashing blue lights in my rearview mirror. I stopped the car right on the spot as I figured hardly anyone else knew about or used this road. I was really surprised to even see this cop. Just my luck. After waiting for what seemed like a painfully long time, I saw the shadow of a bulky figure probably about six feet tall get out of the driver side door and slam it shut. As he came up to my car, he mouthed. "Any idea how fast you were going?"

"About 30" I reply.

"44 miles per hour in a 25 zone". I thought he has to be kidding. What will I hit out here? A wandering gopher? "License and registration." I scrambled for it real quick and gave it to him.

As I did so, I couldn't help but notice that this officer was a very handsome man. He looked to be of European descent with a nice tan, ripped physique, and baby blue eyes that could stare a hole right through you. He started to go to his car for a minute and then stopped. That's when I noticed a bulge in his pants that could in no way be what it looked like. It was just too big. I got out of my car for a second which got me a pissed off look from the officer at first. I go up to him with my hands in plain view and start rubbing one hand over the fabric on his bulging crotch area. "Are you sure there isn't some way we could work things out?" He then smiled as I dropped to my knees. He told me to get up and take off all of my clothes. I happily did so and he then proceeded to undress himself and lay his clothing on the hood of his patrol car.

"Cavity search! Assume the position!" he said in a maliciously playful tone. I do as told.

I'm thinking as this is going on 'Damn this is wild..I know there are fantasies where women get out of tickets this way all of the time. I was now going to share this fantasy with all of those wild women.

As I assumed the position on the hood of my own vehicle, I felt his hot breath and lips on my neck as his strong hands started to explore my body. "Open your mouth" he says and inserts a couple of fingers into my mouth feeling around. When he pulls his finger out, I suck it.

"Good finger" I joke.

"My dick will taste better" he says. He then proceeds to oil up my anal crevice and slowly sticks his entire hand up there much to my dismay. After a second of 'searching' he's done. "I think you can assume your original position now." I turn around and drop to my knees as he has just turned the lights to my car off and we are in total darkness. I reach towards his strongly muscular thighs, grabbing the backs and put my lips to the tip of his dick, sticking my tongue out to lick some salty precum from the tip of the head.

"Mmmm, you were right..this is much better" I say. His cock was huge, a monster. It had to be at least a good 12 or 13 inches and thick, too. I wondered whether I could take it all in. I then moved one hand to grab his balls and grabbed his erection in the other as I licked and kissed top to bottom slowly. Then I slowly inserted the head of his rock hard penis into my mouth as I pumped with my left hand while fondling his testicles with my right hand.

I was sucking hard on the head and could tell he was in heaven as he could barely keep his balance and his hands were lightly brushing my hair. I move my hands back to his thighs and start to bob as far as I can while keeping a good pace. He moans "OOooooAAawww God!.." *schlup! schlup! schlup! schlup!* As fast as I go, I still take the time to taste this monstrous beauty.

"Delicious" I thought. I don't want him to cum yet though. He stops me before he gets there.

"Now, I want you to assume the position again." I do so and he then moves behind me with the wet tip of his large cock teasing my eager fuckhole. I'm still oiled from the 'search'. I then feel his nipples against my back as he reaches around and plays with my nipples. Then he inserts about half of his throbbing monster into my well lubed backside.

I wince at first, then moan "Fuck yeah." He then locks his hips to mine and starts pumping me harder and faster as he kisses my neck and continues to feel up and down my front side. After giving me a minute or two to get used to it, he was tearing away at my ass like a man possessed, many times shoving the entire hot, sticky length into my quivering hole to the base. I cried "Ow!" or "Ah!" a couple of times, but it didn't stop him or slow him down a bit. Still, even through the pain, I was enjoying this tremendously. After all, not all pain is bad.

I then sensed that he was about to blow. I temporarily shocked him as I pushed back with all of my might to get him off of me. I dropped to my knees and pointed his erupting member at my open mouth. He came like a geyser, with some landing on my face and some into my mouth. He then told me "Get up, it's your turn." In a heartbeat, he dropped to his knees and took me in his warm mouth. I could tell that he had some experience as he kept a really good pace and control as he just let all the saliva flow.

Then all of a sudden "Aaaahhhh yeah!" I scream as I shoot my juices down his hungry throat. He then gets up and licks the rest of the cum from my face and kisses me hard. "What about that ticket?" I ask.

"What ticket?" He pats me on the ass and tells me to get going. I happily oblige, hoping that we would meet again one day. I wanted to say I'd be more careful about speeding, but it's so easy to lose track of how fast you're going.

Why Should I?

2007-10-30T16:11:00.000+08:00

"Well I’m sorry,

but I won’t be forced to hide

Behind this wicked, stupid lie. "

___________

Why should I be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
Tell you just what you want to hear
Make it okay, sooth your fear.

Why should I be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
Tell you that I love boys
But we all know that’s just noise.

Why should I be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
Deny me hope, deny me love
Is this what you’re told to do, from the Almighty above?

Why should I be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
Just so you won’t see me?
Well then turn off your TV

Because I won’t be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
Does it disturb you
To know there are people out there who don’t do what you do.

Well I’m sorry, but I won’t be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
I won’t mask who I am
I won’t be a sham.

I won’t be forced to hide
Behind this wicked, stupid lie
And maybe you don’t like it
And maybe you won’t admit
That it goes on
Near your house, in your neighbors, or on your neighborhood’s lawns.

Why should I be forced to hide
Behind a wicked, stupid lie
When you can kiss who you please
And you just get called a tease.

I get called a dyke
Just for kissing who I love or like
Well I’m sorry, but I won’t be forced to hide
Behind this wicked, stupid lie.

I won’t sooth your fears
Or tell you just what you want to hear
Turn off your TV
If you don’t want to see
That wicked stupid lie
Being broken by people who refuse to hide.

Just like me.

Gay History

2007-10-26T07:58:00.000+08:00

Zephyrus and Hyacinthus, Athenian Kylix (wine cup)

by Douris490-485 BCE, Boston Museum of Fine Arts

History is written by the victors. They choose what will be remembered, and what covered up. So it has been with male eros. Looking at any history textbook, one would think that never has a society praised love between men, never has a painter, a poet or a pope shared his bed and his heart with another male. Evidence of same-sex love has been either quietly suppressed, as with the Greeks and Romans, or quickly destroyed, as is still done with newly unearthed Inca and Mayan art. The result of this deception has been a needless polarization of society and untold suffering for those people who happen to fall in love with others of their own sex.

Uncensored, the historical record reveals an opposite reality: the male love instinct is a universal constant. Only society's attitude towards it has varied. All cultures have regulated male love, weaving varied tapestries of ritual around it. And a few have tried - to no avail - to regulate it out of existence.

Illuminated miniature of Shah Abbas I (1571-1629) of Persia, embracing his wine boy.

The poem reads “May life grant all that you desire from three lips, those of your lover, the river, and the cup.”

As a rule, male love was part of the social and religious fabric. From the city states of ancient Greece and Rome with its emperors (Trajan and Hadrian among others), to the Siberian shamans and Native American two-spirit medicine men, from the African tribesmen to Chinese emperors and scholars, people the world over understood and made space for men's vulnerability to the beauty of other males. They accepted that - whether married or not - men fell in love with men or youths, dreamt about them, wrote about them, fought over them, and took them to bed. And they usually understood that boy children were excluded from the game of love, to the same degree that they understood that girl children were excluded as well.

In Ancient Greece love between males was in many ways analogous to the marriages of the time, seen as equally important in the life of the individual, and enshrined in Greek mythology. It was the cornerstone of a cultural tradition that 2500 years ago provoked the awakening of democracy, theater, philosophy, mathematics, history, and so on. Male love was thought to bring out the best qualities in a youth, especially manliness and courage. In warfare soldiers often fought side-by-side with their beloveds, as in the renowned Theban band; later, led by Alexander the Great and his boyfriend Hephaestion, the Greeks conquered the known world. Greece, of course, was no Utopia: prostitution and rape, often attended by slavery, were common.

Miyakawa Choshun (1682-1753) -

The Go Game Individual panel from an shunga painting of silk done at the end of the eighteenth century, reprinted in The Love of Samurai, A Thousand Years of Japanese Homosexuality by Tsuneo Watanabe and Jun'ichi Iwata.

In Japan,apprentice Samurai paired up with older warriors to be trained in love and war, and even the shogun had - besides his concubines - many boyfriends, their "nanshoku" loves recorded by writers and shunga painters who immortalized "shudo," the Way of the Young. They likewise immortalized the hard lives of the "tobiko" or fly boys, traveling young kabuki actors who had to labor on stage by day and please their clients in bed by night.

In the Moslem lands, famous Iranian and Arab poets such as Hafiz i-Shirazi and Abu Nuwas praised and rued the charms of boys (whom they sometimes plied with wine and seduced). Sufi holy men from India to Turkey sought to find Allah by gazing upon the beauty of beardless youths. Storytellers enshrined gay love tales in the Thousand and One Nights. Artists like Riza i-Abbasi amused kings and princes with exquisitely wrought Persian miniatures and calligraphies. Mullahs and censors railed against male love, but men of all walks of life, from Caliphs to porters, delighted in it and all looked forward to being attended by "unaging youths as beautiful as pearls" once in paradise.

In North America and Siberia, shamanic traditions dating back to the stone age recognized the special spiritual powers of those men and women drawn to same-sex love, as we still see in the Native American two-spirit tradition, which survives to this day.

Domenico Cresti (called Passignano) 1560-1638

Bathers at San Niccolo Private collection.

In the pre-modern west, male love survived mostly underground, visible only when the lovers were unlucky enough to get caught, or when hinted at by artists brave enough to flout convention. Many writers, musicians, painters and poets depicted male love, but always in coded form: Michelangelo, who adorned the Sistine Chapel with vibrant male nudes; Shakespeare, who serenaded his darling boy in his sonnets; Blake who railed against priests "binding with briars my joys and desires;" Whitman, who sang the body electric. The list of luminaries, artists, statesmen, men of the cloth, knights and knaves who felt the pull of male love - by itself, or alongside the love of women - is endless.

The big lie that same-sex love is "against nature," a fiction which flies in the face of both biology and history, depends on censorship for its survival. We at the Androphile Project, gleaning the work of scholars in gay studies, aim to undo that censorship by publicizing gay love's role in man's spirit and culture: its successes, its failures, and the controversies it has given rise to over the millennia. We hope the prose and poetry, religion and mythology, art, philosophy and history collected here from around the world will serve to deepen understanding of male love's place in human nature. As this is being written (winter 2004), it could also illuminate the growing debate about gay marriage, a tradition documented the world over for thousands of years, but nowhere as widely or as recently as in North America, where it was practiced and honored by many of the First Nations.

The documents gathered here are the footprints of the Gay Muse, who has inspired men and women on every continent since the dawn of time. They bear witness to the fact that male love is irrepressible. Where forbidden, it has prevailed over stonings, burnings, lobotomies, schoolyard homophobia, the gallows and the gaol. Where welcomed, it has openly blossomed into the highest achievements of the human mind.

The Minx

2007-10-25T11:23:00.000+08:00

I feel hands on my skin again. The fear grabs a hold of me, and I almost scream… “It’s just me baby,” he says. The muscles in my body loosen, and I know what’s about to come. I stifle a moan of mixed pain and pleasure as he pushes his sex past the rings of muscle and deep to the centre of me.

I look at the clock. “It’s one in the morning. Couldn’t this have waited?” He bullshits a story about how he was watching me sleeping, and couldn’t wait any longer. Then he eases out a bit. I stifle a moan. “But what if your parents hear us?”

His beautiful hazel eyes gaze into mine. “Let them hear. I don’t care.” I just look at him. He pushes back in; there is no quieting me now. I moan. He smiles. I open myself wider, and give him access to the deepest parts of me. “You little minx.”

My eyes fly open. My breath hitches, and I push into his next motion. We slam together. His pelvis rams into my body and I scream loud. My whole body shutters, and his inevitable eviction from my warmth has arrived. He pouts, and kisses my cheek.

“What was that for?” he asks, slowly caressing my nipple. He nibbles and licks my neck lustfully. “Hmm? What did I do to you?”

“Am I really a minx?” I bite his nipple playfully, and trail kisses down his abdomen. My hands slowly bring his member back to a fully aroused state. “I would prefer something that didn’t imply that I was a slut, but I suppose minx is fine.” I sigh in ecstasy as he enters me once more.

“Oh. The minx likes that?” His motions quicken. He brings me to a fully aroused state. He kisses me passionately.

Then rolls onto his side of the bed.

My eyes fly open. “What… the hell… are you doing?” I seethe. “You can’t do that to me. Again. You did this last night. I can’t handle this shit.”

And yet he sleeps quietly next to me. Darkness wraps me in her silk sheets, and binds me down. I never was good at the sleep part of life. Insomnia is my closest friend in the wee hours of the night, and I usually find myself with a deep lack of sleep. Being hopped up on caffeinated beverages is my remedy.

Tonight I realize just how alone I feel lying next to the one who should fulfill me. So I quietly leave the bed. I pack my belongings quietly, kiss you lightly on the forehead, and steal away into the night.

Do you realize how much I truly cared for you while all I got was lukewarm feelings reciprocated? I wonder as I walk into the hellish night that has become my true existence.

____________

I wrote this one for a friend.

Homo Santos: St Longinus the Centurion

2007-10-24T12:53:00.000+08:00

A number of unnamed figures in the New Testament have been given names - for instance the women who wiped the face of Christ as he went to be crucified is known as "Veronica". The centurion of Matthew 27, who utter the words "truly this is the son of God", has long been celebrated as the martyr Longinus in both Orthodox and Roman churches. For this entry I am conflating him with the Roman soldier of Matthew 8:5-13/Luke 7:1-10 who approaches Jesus so that this "servant" might be cured. I think that this was done in the past, but am still searching for more information.

As Fr. Johh O'Neill has pointed out recently, there are several aspects to this story which might lend it to a gay reading. In the first place it seems somewhat odd that a centurion would be so caring about a slave, caring enough to risk ridicule by approaching a Jewish miracle worker for help. The underlying Greek text intensifies this suspicion of a possible homosexual relationship. Tom Horner, author of David Loved Jonathan: Homosexuality in Biblical Times, points out that in Matthew, the earlier account and directed to a Greek-speaking Jewish audience, the word for servant is "pais" - which means "boy", but can also mean "servant", and, given the rather greater than average concern for a servant demonstrated by the centurion, can also mean "lover". The word "pederasty" for instance derives from "pais". Luke, who was writing in a much more Greek milieu changes the word "pais" to the much more neutral "doulos" ("servant" or "slave"), presumably aware of its homosexual implications to any reader with a Greek cultural background. Jesus, clearly, does not condemn the centurion in this story of faith.

One interesting point here is that at every Catholic mass the communicants say the words of this centurion immediately before communion - the modern English slightly distorts the Latin - " Lord I am not worthy to receive you under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be cleansed".

Matthew

And when Jesus was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him, Mat 8:6 And saying, Lord, my servant lieth at home sick of the palsy, grievously tormented. Mat 8:7 And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him. Mat 8:8 The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof: but speak the word only, and my servant shall be healed. Mat 8:9 For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me: and I say to this man, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it. Mat 8:10 When Jesus heard it, he marvelled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel. Mat 8:11 And I say unto you, That many shall come from the east and west, and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven. Mat 8:12 But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Mat 8:13 And Jesus said unto the centurion, Go thy way; and as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee. And his servant was healed in the selfsame hour.

Luke

Luke 7:1 Now when he had ended all his sayings in the audience of the people, he entered into Capernaum. Luke 7:2 And a certain centurion's servant, who was dear unto him, was sick, and ready to die. Luke 7:3 And when he heard of Jesus, he sent unto him the elders of the Jews, beseeching him that he would come and heal his servant. Luke 7:4 And when they came to Jesus, they besought him instantly, saying, That he was worthy for whom he should do this: Luke 7:5 For he loveth our nation, and he hath built us a synagogue. Luke 7:6 Then Jesus went with them. And when he was now not far from the house, the centurion sent friends to him, saying unto him, Lord, trouble not thyself: for I am not worthy that thou shouldest enter under my roof: Luke 7:7 Wherefore neither thought I myself worthy to come unto thee: but say in a word, and my servant shall be healed. Luke 7:8 For I also am a man set under authority, having under me soldiers, and I say unto one, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it.

Luke 7:9 When Jesus heard these things, he marvelled at him, and turned him about, and said unto the people that followed him, I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel. Luke 7:10 And they that were sent, returning to the house, found the servant whole that had been sick.

-Calendar of Gay Saints

Down

2007-10-24T07:51:00.000+08:00

The sunset began to creep up over the horizon as the thunderstorm slowly tapered off and we were still sitting on the porch swing staring at the water puddles and the occasional car splashing by. The sunlight had a peculiar way of silencing the words that flowed so consistently from our lips. Yet I didn’t feel satisfied in your inability to truly open up.

And I find myself once again frustrated in another dead end that my incessant search for beauty always seems to take me. And I almost find it funny that my life revolves around seeking out beauty in every form, and yet beauty is something I will never hold in my hands, and will never be born from my hands.

And I find myself crashing down again as I’ve done so many times before, wishing for another time and place, wishing that I could again see your face. Wishing that there was more to life then dreaming and wishing.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The fleeting taste of something I’ll never know.

Bench Fever

2007-10-17T14:21:00.000+08:00

Bench Newest EDSA Billboard!

Damn! It is So Hot!

Catch it in froont of SM North EDSA

Speak Up

2007-10-16T16:36:00.000+08:00

In the beginning there was balance
and it was good.
Introduce man,
some for law
others for chaos.
Balance was thrown away and
your results are today.

Present myself in this day and age,
being complete, letting the world knowing it
and I would recieve hatred and yet compassion.
There in lies balance,
but introduce,
law
chaos
and there lies the tipping of the scales.

I am allowed to speak,
as if I needed permission.
I am allowed to express,
as if anyone could stop me.
Try to be hateful,
you'll see nothing but judges of a biased system
and police who enforce unfounded rules.
Brutal supression only works,
if everyone accepts it.

Take away the foolish binds,
chains that drag the human spirit to
a painful submission.
Balance is the key,
but isn't allowed.
Ask yourself,
if you could speak,
what would you say?

The Satyr

2007-10-08T12:29:00.000+08:00

"Find me in your dreams,

find me in your heart,

find me where our souls have met,

when the new moon starts"

Stars twinkled over the land from their vast indigo blanket of sky. Deep in the Northreach forest, a warm glow and cheery music rose up from the hidden glade as a bonfire roared in its center. The area was full of horned, hoof-shorned Satyr men. They danced and caroused about, drinking, eating and playing their instruments. It is well known that Satyrs are great party-people, and love their joyous and sometimes raucous affairs.

As the party wore on, one particulary graceful Satyr named Rociel stood and danced, playing his pipes along with the other men. His long white tail swished along with his hips as he moved, undulating about the fire. All the while, his amber eyes bore into another young Satyr, who was sitting along with some other men, eating, talking and laughing. He had caught sight of him earlier, and had not taken his eyes from him all night.

As if the young man could feel his gaze, his head turned, and his emerald eyes flickered as he caught sight of Rociel. Rociel continued to dance and stare at him, his movements becoming more beckoning, and he tossed his horns, flipping one long wine-coloured braid over his shoulder. The young Satyr stood and jauntily walked over, falling into step with the dance that Rociel had begun.

They moved together, untouching, but never looking away from each other. It was a dance of lust, and they both knew it. A kind of unspoken understanding had formed between them.

The song ended, and Rociel at once turned from the dark-haired man before him, swaying off from the fire and the rest of the men to the trees and darkness. He knew the other would follow.

He stopped at a large Dogwood tree. Blooms of fragrant pink flowers hung down over a thick carpet of moss. As he waited, he heard soft hoofsteps approaching him, then a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Quickly, he grabbed the young man and pulled him around, shoving him against the bark of the tree. He held him there and kissed him roughly. The young man seemed shocked at first, then returned the kiss, his arms going about Rociel's neck. Rociel put his arms around him, his large hand going up to entwine in the others silky dark hair. He broke the kiss.

"What's your name?" He asked urgently.

"Cyric." Came the breathless answer.

"Cyric," he said. "I"m going to have you."

And with that, he grabbed hold of the young man's horns, tilting back his head and voraciously nibbling at his throat. Cyric groaned and closed his eyes.

"Yes, yes... Have me any way you want," he said in a low moan. He arched against Rociel, pushing his already engorged sex into the soft white fur that covered his leg. Rociel returned the favour, his hips gyrating in a slow movement against Cyric, their organs rubbing against each other.

Rociel began travelling down Cyric's deeply tanned chest, his hungy lips finding the dark bud of his hard nipple. He bit it gently, then licked it, sucking it into his mouth. Cyric groaned, his head falling back to rest against the tree. Rociel continued further down Cyric's body, exploring with his mouth.

His hands rested on the younger man's thighs, and he stopped, pulling back to look up at the chestnut haired boy, giving him an almost teasing look. Cyric rocked his hips forward, his body churning with desire, the look on his face pleading. Rociel smiled up at him, then eagerly took the hard member into his mouth.

Cyric groaned loudly, his hands atop Rociel's dark burgundy hair as Rociel worked him. Sighing and panting with each lick, each suck, he began to shudder, signalling that he was about to explode.

Rociel pulled off him. "Not yet, beautiful. Not like that."

He pulled him from the tree and pushed him down to his knees on the lush carpet of moss, then moved behind him. He pulled Cyric up, so that he was sitting upright, and then used his own knee to spread the sandy-haired legs even further. Wrapping his arms around Cyric's lean chest from behind, he nibbled his ear gently as he positioned himself against the tight opening that lay hidden in the crevice of the boy's body.

He began to push in slowly, very slowly, yet steadily, against the tight, unyielding flesh. Cyric let a low moan, shifting his hips slightly, and Rociel was in, penetrating deeper into the hot flesh that squeezed him, held him. He pulled back and in again, the delicious friction was wonderful to him. His hips began to move easier as he rocked against Cyric. Rociel slipped his hand down to Cyric's member, bouncing in a wild dance in the air with each thrust he gave, and gripped it. He moved his hand in time with his own thrusts. Cyric's head lolled back against his shoulder as his back arched, his orgasm coming quickly, and soon Rociel was clinging tightly to him as his own orgasm wracked his body, his seed spilling deep within the quarters of Cyric.

The two men tumbled over to the ground, gasping and panting, clinging to each other. Cyric rolled over on his side, kissing Rociel. He lay his dark head on the others shoulder, sighing contently as Rociel held him, and soon fell asleep.

Light broke the next day, filtering through the pink Dogwood blooms to warm the cheek of Cyric. His emerald eyes fluttered open, he rolled over lazily to smile at Rociel.

He stopped. Rociel wasn't there.

He looked on his other side, still there was no Rociel.

He blinked. Then he noticed a deep purple bloom laying at the base of the tree. It was a hyacinth flower. He picked it up and noticed dangling from it was a golden locket. He looked at the locket, and smiled. He put it on over his head, the long chain allowing it to rest over his heart. He wandered off from the tree, back to where the party had been the night before, the smile never leaving his face.

The locket had read, "Find me in your dreams, find me in your heart, find me where our souls have met, when the new moon starts. My name is Rociel."

Tres Años

2007-10-04T10:46:00.000+08:00

Oh My God!

HUSH AND LISTEN

IS NOW THREE YEARS OLD!

I actually almost forgot. Today marks this silly space of mine its Third Year! Whew! Yes! It has been three years or at least as the archive of this blog would suggest, I posted my very first article on this blog last October 04, 2004 and previously titled: Confessions of Cairo.

To be honest though, i didnt enjoy blogging way back as much I am enjoying it this year. I dont know really why. Maybe because I dont really anything about blogging (neither I think about it now anyway - lolz) back then. A friend of mine just inserted a blogging page for me to lined up all my poems and essays for the personal webpage cum portfolio that I am asking him to do. So this blog page is really accidental, so to speak. But hey, as I would always say, I AM SO PROUD OF THIS PAGE!

Fellow Bloggers, Friends, and Especially CRITICS - for and against what is posted here, makes me feel more and more proud of what this blog have become. From an accidental blog to a full pledge self sufficient and living blog that reaches to across the worLd (Oh Yeah argue with me with this statement) Hush and Listen, as I would like to believe, have reached its blog maturity. I am still awe by the figures and charts of this blog. Never did thought that people would actually read things written here especially mostly it is theme with melancholic thought, agony, despair and not to mention the poignant poems. But Hey, YOU GUYS are so fucking terrific! For that I will always be indebted.

and to my misery who have been my gasoline and conitnously fueling with the inspiration of sad thoughts, thank you for defining me everyday to be a better and bolder writer.

~~To all my friends who have been my inspiration in some of the Gay Eroticas~~ (OOooopss! Better Scratch this one, they might not tell me their stories).

To All that have been and will be Finalist of The G* Spot Weblog Award, Guys You are the Certainly a GREAT BLOG, worthy of reading! Truly indeed you are all an epitome of true blogging!

To All my Co Authors at United SEA, Keep the Flame Burning!

And Most Importantly, To ALL my Faithful Readers,

MARAMING SALAMAT!

THANK YOU!

ARIGATO!

MERCI BEAUCOUP!

MUCHAS GRACIAS!

HUSH AND LISTEN is now officially entering its Fourth Year. Better. Bolder. Sexier. Hard Hitting. So Watch Out!

Asian Candies: "Sensitive Ninz"

2007-10-04T10:13:00.000+08:00

"Pains are inflicted to those who have a Heart"

-ninz

Sign: Taurus

Status: Dating

Orientation: Bisexual

Ethnicity: Asian/Pacific Islander

Occupation: Quality Assurance Supervisor

Music: Sarah Mclachlan, Norah Jones, Babyface, TLC, Kylie Minogue, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Rihanna, Beyonce, Nelly Furtado, Kelly Clarkson, Neeyo, Maroon 5, Kaskade, D'sound, Chris Gaines, Usher, Shanice, Whitney Houston, Dave matthew's band, dishwalla, Damien Rice.. to name a few.. hehehe... ;)

Movies: romantic comedys, sad & miserable movies.. haha..

Television: what's that? hehe.. (haven't had tym to watch tv ever since i started to work..) Altho i love watching series.. Friends Will & Grace Heroes Desperate Housewives etc..

Books/Magazines: Harry Potter book 1 till the very last book! ;)

Idols: God of course.. my parents.. my best friends.. and ME!!! hehehe...

Nino Cruz aka Ninz

Who Is Nino Cruz?

i dunno.. u tell me.. hehehe.. ;) altho i see myself as a person with few words.. m an observer.. i dnt talk much.. ;) I'm not usually all that chatty, but when I feel strongly about something, I'll go on about it -- at length. hehehehe... ;) some lines i'd like to share to everyone visiting my profile.. ;) If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay... Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be... If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserved then heck.. no.. you can't be friends. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend!!! Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.. The only person you can control in a relationship is you..

There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; HE DOESNT WANT YOU!!! If he doesn't call, he just isn't interested!!! Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on)... You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within! Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard!!! -- i like this!!! hehehe... :)

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are.. even if he has more education or is in a better job.. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that... Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life.. - true!!!

Love is a verb ... its an ACTION word!!! - u-huh!!! Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving. don't wish a man will change for you!!! If you don't love yourself...you can't love anyone else..-rule #1! You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship... You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complementary... not supplementary...

NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it... A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work... - damn ryt!!!! Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.. oh yeah!!! Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent... -i agree!!!

___________

Do you I Need to say more why this guy deserves to be one of the Asia Candies?

Unhappily Ever After

2007-10-04T07:59:00.000+08:00

I'm carving away the calluses so that I can feel again, here in my world of illusions where I fool myself into believing that what I feel is real. And there you are amidst all the chaos, more then anything I could ever believe; too beautiful to be real, too imaginative to be true; too true to be mine. And when I woke up and saw your face this morning when I opened my eyes, I spent fifteen minutes figuring out if it's just another false awakening, or if you were really there. Finally I realize that it was true; and that I was going to be late for work if I didn't get moving. I climbed out of bed and got dressed. I looked back at you still sleeping as I smoked my morning's cigarette and wore a small smile; a wish come true and yet I'm still not happy. I walk out the door wondering what in the hell is wrong with me.

I sit here at work fidgeting with my rubics cube, not even trying to make an effort to pay attention to the client on the phone. And I find myself drowning in my most shallow thoughts and slowly drift off into unrememberable daydreams. And I wonder what you're doing right now, if you're still in a dream of the life that I stole you away from; or if you've woken up to a moment's startle as you try to recall where you are, and then burry your head in my pillow as you realize that you're still here, so far from home, too close to me; and there's no way to turn back.

I guess it's too late now to take back our wishes; dreaming of the days we lived before we had made this choice, shedding a tear for each day we want to return to; holding each other out of fear and loneliness rather then affection. We both lie awake in the purplish glow radiating from my computer box, pretending to be asleep. We hold our breath for as long as possible so we can at least appreciate the air we breathe, and being alive somehow. We wish upon my glowing stars on my ceiling for our happily-ever-after; and pray silently that we would disappear. I'm going to disappear.

The G* Spot Award: October 2007

2007-10-02T10:04:00.000+08:00

The G* Spot Weblog Award is Back this Month.

The Finalist are:

To this month's finalist, Congratulation!

Touch Me

2007-09-28T08:36:00.000+08:00

"Hold me... Touch Me.."

“Do you want this?” I whisper softly… Why are the tears beginning to flow? Your eyes are so warm, so caring…the only part of you that isn’t frozen. The only part of you that I can see, that I can feel…All this time, you were this fortress, this cold stone; a wall that could never be breached. But the moment I left you defeated by your defenses, you tear down your wall and reveal yourself.

How could this be? Are you truly here? Have you really shown all of yourself to me? I’m wondering why, I’m wondering how this could happen only when you see me in pain, lower than you, tired of begging for you, completely spent… Is it pity? Do you feel safe that I truly am no threat? Or is it something else? Whatever the case I will try, I will try to let you in, take all that I can have of you for whatever reason…but i'm tired.

You reach out to me, you reach out to me this time…I take your hands into my own, I take your eyes into my own…

“I don’t want you to cry, not for me...” so sweetly your lips move, so warm are your eyes… But the tears are still falling. Your fingers reach up and trace my lips softly, we are in sadness together. You take in a short gasp, and I see your eyes begin to grow with love, the tears falling down for me.

Never would I have imagined such a sight, this must be real, you must be real.
Suddenly you kiss me, so deeply I am awakened from my shadows. I swoon into you and let it take over. Our bodies are so cold ,so harsh. Can we really warm each other?

I feel you groan for more, reaching once more for me, for me. Your breath is on my skin, the ice melting away swiftly. Your spirit creeping up my neck breathing me in more intensely than ever before, “ I do, I do need you…” you cry softly.The purest of saints could not have said something sweeter.

Your lips are my verification, your eyes, my escape. Now make it hurt.

Maging sa Dapit Hapon (The Traslation)

2007-09-20T11:35:00.000+08:00

When I posted "Maging sa Dapit Hapon" Paul of Bedtime Stories have requested for a translation. I did promised the guy that ill try to come up with one... Admittedly, I forgotten about it not until a recent reader of this blog tries to translate "Maging sa Dapit Hapon".

Impressive really and I really appreciate the effort especially when the guy wrtten his second stab of the translation to revise the first one he made. So to Paul and to Jimg29, allow me:

In the starless nights,

Unhappy times,

Unforgiving Hearts

of those persuaded by exhaustion

on verge of shattered glasses

decomposing woods,

impending uncertainty,

perfection of insufficiency,

oneness,

In the absence of love

when guiding lights are unfound,

when twilight blaze the dusking sky

set the dying light ablaze

litburn the candle..

I will remain... I will Exist...

and I would Never be Forgotten.

__________

Shout Back Guys!
But of course poems are beautiful on their original version as voices of the hearts move your hand to create something beautiful.

The Rut

2007-09-20T10:55:00.000+08:00

I'm back to where I started again. I wonder if this cycle will ever end. No matter how much I change everything seems to stay the same. I suppose that can be a good thing, but I'm just tired of living the same day over and over again. No day has any significant value, no wonderful memory that I'm going to reflect on five years from now; I don't even have anything to write about anymore, I've already written about every aspect of this infinitely repetitive day and all 3 emotions that I feel during it. I need a change. I need to live again. Am I really as trapped as I feel? Change can't really be that hard. But I moved to a completely different state hoping for change, but the only thing that changed was my environment; it was the same shit, just a different place. This rut is not environmental; it's myself that needs to change.......

An elderly man was sitting alone on a dark path. He wasn't certain of which direction to go, and he'd forgotten both where he was traveling to and who he was. He'd sat down a moment to rest his weary legs, and suddenly looked up to see an elderly woman before him. She grinned toothlessly and with a cackle, spoke:

"Now for your *third* wish, what will it be?"

"Third wish?" The man was baffled

"How can it be a third wish if I haven't had a first and second wish?"

"You've had two wishes already," the hag said

"but your second wish was for me to return everything to the way it was before you had made your first wish. That's why you remember nothing; because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes." She cackled at the poor man, "so it is that you have one with left."

"All right," said the man "I don't believe this; but there's no harm in wishing. I wish to know who I am"

"Funny," said the old woman as she granted his wish and disapeared forever,

"That was your first wish."

- Planescape Torment

Deja Vu

2007-09-17T13:53:00.000+08:00

It's becoming so hard to tell the difference between dreaming and being awake; another false awakening, another unconscious memory; existing in a state of perpetual deja vu. And it's so easy to believe your words, because in every whisper, I dream that what your saying is true. And I never understood why I always felt guilty when I was really happy; why I would sabotage great things in my life just to bring me back down. But now I'm realizing that it's just another defense mechanism; my subconscious warning me that if I feel this way there must be something wrong. And so now I'm fighting your words with the guilt that's welling up inside me, trying to shut out every word you say... trying to prolong this incipient madness.

The more I read what I write the more pathetic I become. Spilling out my insecurities for strangers to read, like a child screaming for attention. And I have run out of angles to view the same day, the same conversations; the same events that have played over and over for the last year. And I've become so claustrophobic in my tiny world of empty glances, absent minded production, and medicated sleep. I’m sick of hiding behind my computer, and yet I’m too much of a fucking pussy to stop hiding. The spells of dizziness and confusion are getting worse; and I think I'm beginning to hear the angel dying as I begin to see my real age showing on my face.

___________

Note:

Allow me to take this time to apologize to the people who have been victim of inconvenience because of my absence in blogdom especially with respect to the G* Spot Weblog Award. I was detained by work, family, personal matter and some offline shits! In relation to the September race, conferring with the group and c0gnizant of the "two" winners of the August Race - Shaney and Daniel. We are giving Shaney the August Spot and Daniel being the honorary winner of the said award will be getting the September G* Spot. (The Button will be emailed to you guys, sorry for the trouble) The G* Spot Weblog Award will resume on October. The List are getting long really.

Lastly, I really miss writing. So I hope this post will mark the end of my slumber.

To All those faithful readers - comrades and critics alike. Thank you so much.

Drowned

2007-09-10T13:00:00.000+08:00

I opened my eyes in confusion. I saw the dim shadows of the night-light dance on the water just in front of my eyes. The pounding in my head echoed the pounding of the water against it. I tried to regain full consciousness, I tried to push myself up off of my stomach, but I didn't have the strength for either, and my face fell pressed once again against the hard white acrylic tub. I choked on the steam when I inhaled, I knew the hot water falling on me from the shower head above would've been quite painful, were I able to feel anything. But I felt nothing at all, and that's exactly where I always want to be.

The screaming in my head became louder as the water level continued to rise, covering my nose. I lifted my head for a moment before it fell again in the dizziness and nausea that overcame me. I fumbled for the plug and pulled it out, suddenly becoming aware of giggling coming from outside the shower, and I fought again to figure out what I was doing here, to figure out what was going on, but the last thing I could remember was being at the cast party. I felt a hand scooping water out and pouring it again over my head, and swearing at how hot the water was. The water level still wasn't receding, I could no longer breath. I tried to lift my head again but almost threw-up from the dizziness. The heat of the water, the alcohol, the sleeping pills began to overtake me again as I slipped out of consciousness once more.

I awoke cold, naked, shivering on the bathroom floor, the sun light just beginning to peak through the blinds, as I tried to piece together last night's events. I tried to sit up but was overcome with dizziness again. I managed to open the bathroom door and crawl my way to my bedroom. I climbed up into my bed where you were sleeping. I pulled myself up to my pillow, pulling the blanket off of you and around me. I continued to shiver as I waited for the warmth to catch up with me. I felt your arms wrap around me, with a whispered "I love you" before my consciousness once again slipped away from me...